Wow.
He hung that curve like you wouldn’t believe, and we are talking a John Wasdin level hanger here, and you not only whiffed on the most obvious punchline, you actually came back with the worst one. Even letting it stand alone was better (and sufficient).
This is why you have absolutely no future as a joke writer. And if we are ever in some sort of emergency and the President says “the only solution to avert a National crisis of epic and possibly Armageddon-esque proportions is a punchline from Old Red that, well, all it has to do is not suck”, I will know we are truly doomed.
Take this as a constructive criticism…