What?! lol I can just imagine that conversation.
Cashman: Hey Bill, it's Cash.
Bill: Hey Brian, how goes it Brah?(this is the lingo in Minny according to Emmz)
Cashman: Not so good. That douche bag Lee went to the Phillies.
Bill: Ya I figured you'd be calling after throwing the bank at Lee fell short.
Cashman: Well to be honest I called Seattle first, but I never made it past the Z's secretary.
Bill: I think they are called "Administrative assistants" now.
Cashman: f*** her, I'm with the Yankees...
Smith: Chill Brah.
Cashman: I can't chill you *******! I have a 200M payroll and a s*** starting rotation. Pettitte is in Texas plucking chickens and I have already signed every retread there is.
Bill: So what do you want from me?
Cashman: I want Liriano you f***ing tool!
Bill: Hahaha, but why would we want to trade our best SP to you?
Cashman: Because I represent the Yankees.
Bill: ... And?
Cashman: Don't be a dick, resistance is futile.
Bill: Whatevuh brah. What are you offering?
Cashman: Ivan Nova and Ramiro Pena.
Bill: ...
Cashman: Oh and we will eat his entire salary.
Bill: ... But he doesn't make a lot of $
Cashman: f*** you, we are the Yankees! Resistance is futile!
Bill: Sorry Cash brah, but you can't pull your routine this time around. There is no financial barrel to bend me over this time.
Cashman ...(sphincter tightening)
Bill: Your gonna have to offer us 4 prospects, and we will start at Montero and Betances for the nucleus of the deal.
Cashman: ...But we are the Yankees... And if Hank finds out I've got nothing he's going to go ape s***.
Bill: lol, ape s***.
"Hank storms into Cashman office and grabs the phone out of Cashmans hand"
Bill: Cash brah, you ok?
Hank: "incoherent ape type grunts and screams"
Bill: WTF?
Hank: Yankees! oo oo ahhhaaa!
Cashman: I'm sorry Hank please calm down! Your hurting me...
Bill: ...click...beep beep. Helen?
Helen: Yes Mr. Smith?
Bill: Ya, can you call NYPD again.
Helen: Is it about Mr. Steinbrenner?
Bill: Yes. He's gone ape s*** again and is beating the hell out of Cash and Cash just won't leave them. It's pretty sad.
Helen: Should I call the battered GM's and see if they have room for him?
Bill: Don't bother, you know he won't go. He never learns.