I found this amusing little gem on BDC.
dragqueenbunter April 28, 2015 — 08:27 AM
FROM THE TRAINER'S ROOM
"Red Sox: Mike Napoli was out of the lineup because he was sick. ..."
Pueblo Mendoza infirmary.
Dr. Felipe Mendoza to patient lying in bed: "Ju know ju running muy low fiebre [fever]. Ju need rest en rub este "clear" medicina all over ju body."
Mike Napoli [.167]: "Doc, whatever it takes I'll do it. My teammates are counting on me to produce and I'm just not cutting it right now. [1 HR/4 Ribbies]"
Dr. Mendoza: "Ju got that right! [turns to next patient] En how ju feeling today mister?"
Daniel Nava: "Not so good doc. I'm down to .167 and it's dropping fast."
Dr. Mendez: "No problema...I see dis sickness a lot in April and by June ju goin' feel like new. "
[calls out to nurse Olivia Juanita Hernandez de Mendoza] "Geev este muchacho dos pills rojo y dos pills blanco. Andale!!"
[Peers down at chart for next patient and reads aloud] "Chain..Chane..Cain...how ju pronounce ju name, senor?"
patient lifts head and in a raspy whisper responds: "It's Shane...with an 'S'. Shane Victorino [bA .143].....[cough] [cough] When am I going to get out of here doc? I know if Farrell just gives me a chance I can do better. I'm not done, not yet."
Dr. Mendoza: "We haf instructiones to move ju to isolation. We no want ju infect the other players. Comprende? Hey, ju look muy familiar..ju familia from Oaxaca?"
Victorino: "No, I'm from Oahu...Oahu, Hawaii..............and I think I'm going to throw...[big retching sound as camera turns away]
Dr. Mendoza: [looking toward corner of infirmary at pale, listless figure hooked up to ventilator calls out to nurse Olivia Juanita Hernandez de Mendoza] "Olivia....Me think es time we pull de plug on dis one...way don ju go ahead en do it now, hokay? I gone notify Senor Cherington ese hombre es beyon' help."
Nurse Olivia Juanita Hernandez de Mendoza moves toward the listless patient and glances down at his wristband. Craig, Allen before snipping the band off.
The cold surgical steel on Craig's skin arouses him briefly and realizing his predicament he weakly tears away the intubation life support device croaks out...."But I'm not dead yet. Pleeeaaasseeeeeee.............."
Dr. Mendoza: "JU will be, bery bery soon. Lo siento Senor Craig but Mendoza infirmary es no morgue...es for de living."