Youk Of The Nation

It's as good an explanation as any. Plus, as a bonus, there can only be one, which means sometime in the next two seasons we could be treated to a game that is interrupted by David Ortiz decapitating an opposing player with a broadsword, and there's no way it won't be a Yankee.

Aren't spray charts just charts detailing in which direction each ball was hit, and by whom? That's what I mean, these are things that actually happened. You can't falsify them. You can't say "Player A hit 50% of balls to right field" when recorded data and video clearly show that to be incorrect. Graphs and spray charts are still boiled down to events that actually occurred. Hits, outs, strikes, balls, errors, fouls...these are all recorded for posterity, and impossible to ignore or fake.

You've been on this for weeks, and I have to ask, did I miss something? Did someone make an offhand comment early in the season when Ortiz was struggling that maybe this should be his last year or something? You've been beating this sarcasm into the board for a while now, I think whomever you are trying to prove incorrect probably gets it by now. Which actually brings up something I've been wondering. Does everyone think Ortiz is going to be back next season?

Pitch velocity is the only stat I can think of that is subject to this, though. Every piece of data in baseball is pretty cut-and-dried. You can't fake the number of at-bats someone has, or the number of hits or RBI. You can't fudge batting average or ERA, because they're based on physical acts that are plain for all to see. A GM or a scout or an agent can't claim a player has a higher average than he actually does. You can't mess with the data on things that happen in a game, because they're recorded. The only two things I can think of, besides pitch velocity (which is meaningless in the grand scheme of things) that are subject to human interpretation are balls and strikes, which don't factor enough into any statistic to be noteworthy, seeing as they have been subject to human error for over a century with little global impact, and scoring decisions on errors vs. hits. That is also negligible, I'd say, since the percentage of scoring decisions that could go either way is low (most errors are quite obviously errors, even to those of us who are not players or personnel). Small changes or ripples tend to factor out over time, that is a principle of many branches of science and history and it is, I think, an excellent principle when applied to baseball. Statistics are real, at least in baseball. Whereas statistics in most fields, like politics or other demographic minutiae, are subject to errors and malicious interpretation, sports statistics are, by and large, pure and unadulterated. If a player has 1000 at-bats and gets 500 hits, he (in addition to being the best batter ever) is batting .500. If a pitcher gives up 3 runs in 9 innings, he has an ERA of 3.00. It's all math, and math is incorruptible.

The same way the Yankees have always rebuilt. Shitloads of money and only hiring the biggest douchebags in baseball!

I'm getting the strangest feeling that VA doesn't care for the Yankees. Her thread titles have a subtle, almost undetectable derision.

I was shocked that a man wearing a buttoned-up long-sleeved shirt, small tortoiseshell glasses, and coiffed hair was unable to catch a baseball. Simply unbelievable.

My question is, what does it matter? Velocity is almost the least important pitching stat. Whether a guy throws 87 or 92 doesn't really matter if he's getting Breslowed all over the field every time he's out there. If Theo or any other manager/GM messes with the radar gun for their own pitchers to make them "appear faster", what does it matter? No one is trading for or paying a guy based on his velocity, they're signing them based on whether or not they can get outs without giving up 600-foot home runs. Velocity data has always been worthless. Every radar gun is different, based on location, calibration, and even something as simple as humidity. That's basic physics. The only question I have is "why would Theo bother?". It seems like a waste of time.

Mookie Betts is pretty good. Too bad his name is just childishly ridiculous.

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Whereas Papelbon is completely mature, with a professional attitude? I love the guy for what he did for the Sox when he was here, especially in 2007. But he is a gigantic unlikable douchebag.

I'd be willing to bet anything that Papelbon instigated it.

I thought organizations all over the country were banning Hazen lately.

Who the hell is Rich Hill and why has he not been starting every single game ever?

Homework? Aren't you like 100?

One of the few guys who ever played for the Yankees whom everyone could always respect. Hell of a player and a great face for baseball for the last 60 or 70 years. He will be missed. Everyone should attend his funeral, or he won't attend theirs. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/24/sports/baseball/yogi-berra-dies-at-90-yankees-baseball-catcher.html

Good luck with that. Mexico is a very difficult place to ship things in or out of illegally!

Hey, not all of Ohio is a hellhole. I mean, there's Clev-uh, well, what about Cinci-s***, hey though, Toledo is pretty... Okay, yeah.

Ugh the Orioles. I wish I could hate them more than I do, they are really unlikable, especially with f***ing Showalter managing them. I can't think of many other current managers I'd want to punch as much as this guy. Normally it'd be a Yankees manager, but Girardi is pretty inoffensive. Maddon is the only other one I can think of that I despise as much.

The night is not over. Kind of like this game. I can't remember an extra-innings game that was this boring.

And I have been spending most of the evening deciding yet again whether or not to hang myself in the basement. I decided on "not" again, like I always do.

Look, I made a promise before an international tribunal and the families of many victims, and I honor my promises.

Wow, that was a pretty impressive double play.

The Yanks turn to Sabathia to establish some momentum, which at this point is about the same as trusting Jeffrey Dahmer to cater your wedding. He probably won't get the job done, and if he does, it's going to be messy.