Youk Of The Nation

93-95 wins

Anyways, back on track. Am I the only one who is completely unconcerned about Sandoval's weight?

Boooo you ruined it, it was Pluto that was declassified by the IAU.

I wish I could probe deeper into this issue, but I'm pooped.

Hey, proctologists are a real ass-et to the medical community.

I don't think this stings nearly as much as you hoped it would. Doctors are kind of important.

Why not both? Just kidding. It's scared. Scared is the one.

All set now. I have no idea what happened there. I had the login information and everything, but when I logged in, it said I was not a member of any groups. Oh well, whatever, now that it's all taken care of, I can beat you guys.

Okay, send it whenever. Thanks!

As a member of a message board that you are a member of, I also do not trust fat people.

My computer was having some serious issues, so I did a factory reset. Now, the information I thought was correct for my login at the Yahoo Fantasy section is apparently incorrect. Ted, can you access that information as the League creator? If not, I may need to re-create my team under an entirely new name and have you delete the old one.

Never call me that again. NEVER

Did someone call me?

I would change the ground-rule double scoring to umpire's judgement. A lot of ground-rule doubles would be singles or triples based on where they hit the ground (for example, a ball bouncing a few feet past first base in Fenway and into the stands), and I hate seeing guys get to second base on balls like that.

Internet Explorer? That still exists? Try Google Chrome, it's the best.

I can see them fine on mine. Anyone else? If anyone else chimes in saying they can see it, I'd guess it was something on your end. Did you already try closing your browser completely and reopening?

Why does everyone hate Sweet Caroline so much? It's a fun song about a grown man's romantic interest in a girl who was eleven years old when the song was written. What is the big deal?!

Crap! I ruined my subtlety.

I am the master of nuanced, gentle humor. You are significantly older than I am.

I hadn't thought about it in years. My grandfather died years ago, so it's been a while since I heard the story. It was hard to reconcile with my image of my great-grandfather. He died when I was nine or ten, but the few times I met him he was such a sweet old man. Difficult to imagine him starting a miniature race war in a bar over a baseball bet. I guess age saps you of a lot of disagreeable personality traits. Present company excepted, of course.

This is sad, but it reminds me of an interesting family anecdote my grandfather used to tell me whenever the subject of baseball came up. His father (my great-grandfather) supposedly got into a fight with Monte Irvin and a bunch of his teammates in a restaurant in New Jersey sometime in the 1930's. According to family lore, my great-grandfather was upset at the Newark Negro League team for losing a game that he had bet money on and started an argument, which turned into a full-on brawl. Mostly due to the fact that my great-grandfather chose to start this argument in a restaurant not generally frequented by white people. Now, I have no idea whether this is true or not, but it's been a big part of Edinger family lore for a long time, so I kind of hope it is, if only because I can say that a bunch of guys in the baseball hall of fame once beat up my great-grandfather. Fun note: My grandfather usually ended this story by saying something along the lines of "but my dad was a dumb racist and a s***** gambler, so he deserved every bit of it".

Welcome

Denard Span signed a three-year contract with the Giants. I'm happy for him and the Giants, but is this a signing that really calls for a live MLB.com-featured "welcome" press conference? You just signed a decent free agent from a small-market team to your slightly-larger market team. You didn't just discover water on Mars or kill Osama Bin Laden.

Because we never watched these guys play. With the exception of a700, who witnessed not only baseball history but the invention of professional baseball itself, none of us saw Hank Aaron or Babe Ruth or Ty Cobb play, so their indiscretions are not real to us. We aren't outraged because we don't feel it took away from our enjoyment of the games like Bonds or McGwire. In fifty or a hundred years, our grandkids and great-grandkids will be talking about how Barry Bonds was a great player despite how people "back then" got all upset about some stupid drugs or whatever, while at the same time they will be vilifying contemporary players for illegally using nanobot-enhanced blood or decrying the unfair conditions in the baseball stadiums on the moon.

You know, now that I really think about it, there aren't many problems in the world today that couldn't be solved by feeding one or more people to crocodiles. In fact, the only problem I can think of that wouldn't be solved by this is crocodile overpopulation.