Youk Of The Nation

My amended prediction: 185-150 Red Sox. Home runs from everyone, three times. 102 RBI for Napoli.

Get him out of there. How much clearer can he make it that he's completely f***ed?

Jamey Carroll looks like he's got clamps on the back of his head pulling his face taut.

I wouldn't try making any more puns about him. You can't handle the Drewth.

I don't care if the game is two hours or ten, as long as the Sox win in the end.

That's the way you Drew it! Okay, that one was too easy. Hm.

I...what...but...Jonny Gomes...

Yeah, they weren't giving Napoli anything to hit there. "Intentional" walk.

Well. s***.

I can't believe how nice ESPN is. When I worked there it was so clean and new, even the older parts of campus. Then you exit through the gates and you're in Bristol, which, no offense Thunder, is one of the shittier shithole cities in the shittiest shithole area of this state. Surpassed, sadly, only by my own area. Having a campus like ESPN in the middle of Bristol is like building a restaurant in the middle of a landfill.

WEEI > NESN > ESPN Castiglione is the best. Baseball on the radio beats anything.

Given Ross' performance at the plate, we should be grateful that when he ran into Middlebrooks, Will didn't get thrown over the Monster and into the parking lot. Collisions are always scary when even one of the guys involved looks like a black bear hastily zipped into a human suit, I'm just glad both of them are okay and Ross isn't currently coughing up shards of rib.

This has been the best day I've had in quite a while, the Sox better not ruin it. My prediction: 9-4 Sox. Home runs from Napoli and Saltalamacchia. Don't f*** up!

Buchholz is leading the American League in SPF.

The person a couple invites in for a threesome?

Give him a break, with Hanrahans' arm strained and Aceves in the minors, he doesn't have the two guys to turn the ladder.

Now the Jays are even more happless than ever.

God damn it.

For the Red Sox: Ryan Dempster, 2-2, 3.00 ERA http://fullcount.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Dempster_Ryan-Red-Sox-head-13.jpg Since joining the Red Sox, Ryan Dempster has pitched much better than his W/L record might indicate, all while contending with a surname that almost certainly caused emotional anguish throughout elementary, middle, and high school. I'm sure by now he has been called "Dumpster" nearly as many times on this site as jackos' mom. Tonight, he has an excellent chance of going above .500 in the win column and dispelling all of that nonsense, and even if he doesn't, I'll ban anyone for a day who calls him "Dumpster" in the gamethread and delete their post, so no one will see it anyways and it will, for all intents and purposes, not exist. I intended to include my own personal observation of the starting pitchers' photograph as I did yesterday, so just to be consistent, I'll ask if anyone else thinks he looks a little like Kevin Youkilis if one of Kevin Youkilis' parents had not been a radioactive gorilla? For the Twins: Scott Diamond, 2-2, 3.97 ERA http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site569/2012/0824/20120824__120824_Diamond_Twins_200.jpg Wow. I mean...just wow. Your last name is Diamond, and at no point did you consider changing your first name to Maxx or Lance and going into the porn business? What a waste. I suppose you could probably work in a few baseball diamond-related puns in the average game, if you were as phenomenally clever as I am, but still, seems like this guy really dropped the ball on this one. I suppose his terminal case of lopsidedeyeballitis may have nixed his sex career in the bud, though I wouldn't admit that either if I were him. I doubt the Sox will have any trouble with this guy, unless they are attempting to fit him for glasses. So let's do this, boys. The day after a walk-off is always fraught with tension. Actually, no, it's usually normal, but how often do I get the chance to use the word "fraught"? My birthday is on Thursday and I goddamn well better be still making Gamethreads then. Let's make sure the Minnesota newspapers' sports page tomorrow is a photo of this man with his head bowed, captioned "Diamond in the Rough". Go Sox!

Oh. Well, that'll teach me to practice Canadian law without a license.

Actually, I think it might in Canada.

They'll play them again, and they won't get swept again. Anyways, when I said "you", I meant the other 29 teams collectively, not any particular team. However, f*** the Yankees specifically, because the Yankees.

Miller is definitely the unsung hero of the game. Later in the season no one will remember anything except Drew, but two K's, one of them of Morneau, with two on and one out in the seventh, was a huge moment in the game. It says a lot about this team that the game ended the way it did. The 2012 Sox would likely have deflated after going down 4-2, and the first two reaching in the seventh probably could have led to a four-run inning. The 2013 Red Sox said "f*** that" and kept playing. The 2012 Sox would have almost certainly been done after the tying home run in the 9th, instead they put Clay Mortensen out there for three innings, which on paper seems like sending Michael J. Fox in to defuse a bomb, and it worked, the Sox won, and everyone is happy. f*** every other team. f*** em' all. This is the 2013 Red Sox and they are going to lose some games, but when you beat them, they're going to come right back, beat you, and probably give you a swirly.

I am undefeated in gamethreads in 2013!

What are you going to do after the third or fourth blown save when you reach the text size limit?