There are a lot of guys I would have loved to see have their arms ripped off by an angry polar bear while they watched me have sex with their sister, while they were Yankees. Then, when they became members of other teams, I was suddenly as indifferent to their existence as I am to society's conventions about pants. Swisher, on the other hand, I continued to feel the same about, and in fact all him donning a new uniform did is add to my desire a belief that the polar bear should defile his sister afterwards.
Also, why did no one warn me how difficult it is to type quickly on one of these tablets?