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5/13 @ Oakland Jizz rags

Jacoby_Ellsbury
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Jacoby_Ellsbury Portland Sea Dogs

Jacoby_Ellsbury

Old-Timey Member
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Posted

Miley vs Sonny Gray

 

Will the day-game-after-night-game effect help stifle Oakland's bats and work in Miley's favor? (spoiler alert: no)

 

Will O.Co Coliseum pay homage to our 2015 pitching staff by having another of its famed sewage backups?

 

Will I fall asleep any time soon?

 

All this and more, at 3:30PM eastern!

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pruneface Prep Ball

pruneface

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AP

 

Got Vic?

 

The New England Dairy Promotion Board caused a furor over the weekend when Shane Victorino's 2015 RedSox headshot appeared on their latest batch of milk cartons under the caption, "Missing." Shane Victorino was unaware of the situation when concerned relatives, who couldn't reach him on the phone, got re-routed through the labyrinthine Fenway park switchboard and ended up talking to a grounds keeper.

 

"I told Shane's wife I hadn't seen him," said Geoff Duchesne, who waters the grounds with meticulous care. "She started screaming. Oh boy," he said, shaking his head in dismay. "What the hell did I say?"

 

A distraught Mrs. Victorino next called the Massachusets Missings Persons Division and that's when authorities stepped in. Said Detective Cummings, "We immediately got on the horn, asked around. To tell you the truth, I was wondering about Shane myself. He seems to have disappeared during games. He just goes away. I thought he might be dead."

 

Turns out, he wasn't dead. He just sucks.

 

"I was taking a long hot shower," Shane said, when his wife finally contacted him. "I'm sorry. My phone's not goddamn waterproof." Once informed of the NEDPB's actions, Victorino expressed surprise, then anger. "That's...that's not funny," he said, storming off without any further comment - and without any clothes on.

 

Confronted with an indignant Red Sox Nation, Roger Dupris, the head of the Dairy Board was nonapologetic. "He just looks so lost at the plate. We thought it was appropriate."

 

And what about the rest of roster? Dupris nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, there's a lot to choose from. We're working on our next candidate right now. I don't want to give out any names - wouldn't want to spoil the surprise-" he broke off to wink, "but I don't think I'm giving it away when I say his name is an Italian city. After that, the next guy rhymes with 'Nada'. Ironic, right?"

 

Yeah, ironic.

 

"We're just trying to help." But Dupris vowed not to stop there. He hinted at even bigger plans. "If all goes well, we could have a Missing Red Sox Player Milk Carton Day at Fenway. You know, kind of like Bobble Head Day but with milk."

 

It's all part of the NEDPB's master plan to improve their promotion strategies. And it appears to be working. Speculation is now rampant that the Sox aren't drinking enough milk.

 

"I'll drink more milk," said David Ortiz. "Just so long as I don't appear on no damn milk bottle."

 

"Carton."

 

"Whatever."

 

Drinking more milk? At this point, it just might help.

a700hitter Cooperstown

a700hitter

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
AP

 

Got Vic?

 

The New England Dairy Promotion Board caused a furor over the weekend when Shane Victorino's 2015 RedSox headshot appeared on their latest batch of milk cartons under the caption, "Missing." Shane Victorino was unaware of the situation when concerned relatives, who couldn't reach him on the phone, got re-routed through the labyrinthine Fenway park switchboard and ended up talking to a grounds keeper.

 

"I told Shane's wife I hadn't seen him," said Geoff Duchesne, who waters the grounds with meticulous care. "She started screaming. Oh boy," he said, shaking his head in dismay. "What the hell did I say?"

 

A distraught Mrs. Victorino next called the Massachusets Missings Persons Division and that's when authorities stepped in. Said Detective Cummings, "We immediately got on the horn, asked around. To tell you the truth, I was wondering about Shane myself. He seems to have disappeared during games. He just goes away. I thought he might be dead."

 

Turns out, he wasn't dead. He just sucks.

 

"I was taking a long hot shower," Shane said, when his wife finally contacted him. "I'm sorry. My phone's not goddamn waterproof." Once informed of the NEDPB's actions, Victorino expressed surprise, then anger. "That's...that's not funny," he said, storming off without any further comment - and without any clothes on.

 

Confronted with an indignant Red Sox Nation, Roger Dupris, the head of the Dairy Board was nonapologetic. "He just looks so lost at the plate. We thought it was appropriate."

 

And what about the rest of roster? Dupris nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, there's a lot to choose from. We're working on our next candidate right now. I don't want to give out any names - wouldn't want to spoil the surprise-" he broke off to wink, "but I don't think I'm giving it away when I say his name is an Italian city. After that, the next guy rhymes with 'Nada'. Ironic, right?"

 

Yeah, ironic.

 

"We're just trying to help." But Dupris vowed not to stop there. He hinted at even bigger plans. "If all goes well, we could have a Missing Red Sox Player Milk Carton Day at Fenway. You know, kind of like Bobble Head Day but with milk."

 

It's all part of the NEDPB's master plan to improve their promotion strategies. And it appears to be working. Speculation is now rampant that the Sox aren't drinking enough milk.

 

"I'll drink more milk," said David Ortiz. "Just so long as I don't appear on no damn milk bottle."

 

"Carton."

 

"Whatever."

 

Drinking more milk? At this point, it just might help.

"Missing Red Sox Player Milk Carton Day". I like this. I could see these becoming collectibles.
SoxnCycles Draft Eligible

SoxnCycles

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
AP

 

Got Vic?

 

The New England Dairy Promotion Board caused a furor over the weekend when Shane Victorino's 2015 RedSox headshot appeared on their latest batch of milk cartons under the caption, "Missing." Shane Victorino was unaware of the situation when concerned relatives, who couldn't reach him on the phone, got re-routed through the labyrinthine Fenway park switchboard and ended up talking to a grounds keeper.

 

Drinking more milk? At this point, it just might help.

 

Funny s***!

VA Sox Fan Boston Red Sox

VA Sox Fan

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

RED SOX

 

Betts, Mookie CF

Pedroia, Dustin 2B

Ortiz, David DH

Ramirez, Hanley LF

Sandoval, Pablo 3B

Holt, Brock SS

Nava, Daniel 1B

Bradley Jr., Jackie RF

Leon, Sandy C

Miley, Wade (1-4, 6.91)

Spudboy Boston Red Sox

Spudboy

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Well if nothing else those of us who can watch the game today will likely see some good pitching.

 

Gray is the goods.

 

Maybe the Sox can find a way to pound him and get lucky with Miley.

 

I won't hold my breath.

 

GO SOX!!!1!!1

Thunder MVP

Thunder

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
This field looks even shittier in person. It's not in a great neighborhood at all. I was there for a Rays-A's game in 2010. Neither team was good. We walked up to the box office in the 1st inning and got tickets right behind the A's bullpen in the first row. With all the foul territory, it still looked far away.
SoxHop Salem RidgeYaks

SoxHop

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
This field looks even shittier in person. It's not in a great neighborhood at all. I was there for a Rays-A's game in 2010. Neither team was good. We walked up to the box office in the 1st inning and got tickets right behind the A's bullpen in the first row. With all the foul territory, it still looked far away.

 

Yea, it's a s***** field. I paid 22 dollars for behind the catcher seats for a Hudson vs Pedro game. Getting tickets were easy, and prices are real low.

 

The thing is, it's a gritty baseball field. There is nothing nice or special about it. The few Oakland fans that are at the games are serious baseball people, and the fans in the outfield are nuttier than in any park I've been too and wont stop with their stupid horns and drums.

 

I'd say the Oakland fans are some of the most sarcastic - smart ass fans I've ever met too. You never feel threatened or anything, but when their small market team whips your large market team they will let you know about it.

 

I've been to more than a handful of baseball stadiums. And the one in Oakland and the fans there are still my favorite. I really liked that place.

Spudboy Boston Red Sox

Spudboy

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Yea, it's a s***** field. I paid 22 dollars for behind the catcher seats for a Hudson vs Pedro game. Getting tickets were easy, and prices are real low.

 

The thing is, it's a gritty baseball field. There is nothing nice or special about it. The few Oakland fans that are at the games are serious baseball people, and the fans in the outfield are nuttier than in any park I've been too and wont stop with their stupid horns and drums.

 

I'd say the Oakland fans are some of the most sarcastic - smart ass fans I've ever met too. You never feel threatened or anything, but when their small market team whips your large market team they will let you know about it.

 

I've been to more than a handful of baseball stadiums. And the one in Oakland and the fans there are still my favorite. I really liked that place.

 

That's cool to hear.

Thunder MVP

Thunder

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Yea, it's a s***** field. I paid 22 dollars for behind the catcher seats for a Hudson vs Pedro game. Getting tickets were easy, and prices are real low.

 

The thing is, it's a gritty baseball field. There is nothing nice or special about it. The few Oakland fans that are at the games are serious baseball people, and the fans in the outfield are nuttier than in any park I've been too and wont stop with their stupid horns and drums.

 

I'd say the Oakland fans are some of the most sarcastic - smart ass fans I've ever met too. You never feel threatened or anything, but when their small market team whips your large market team they will let you know about it.

 

I've been to more than a handful of baseball stadiums. And the one in Oakland and the fans there are still my favorite. I really liked that place.

 

Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy it, but it was quite the contrast from Fenway. I'm ashamed that I've only been to 3 other parks besides Fenway: Oakland, Cleveland, and Yankee Stadium. I wish I could get to experience more of these parks.

Thunder MVP

Thunder

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
This part of the city will be rocking later tonight. The Warriors are playing right across the street. Good thing this wasn't a night game.
SoxHop Salem RidgeYaks

SoxHop

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy it, but it was quite the contrast from Fenway. I'm ashamed that I've only been to 3 other parks besides Fenway: Oakland, Cleveland, and Yankee Stadium. I wish I could get to experience more of these parks.

 

I totally understand your reaction to Oaklands stadium. It's a dump. I'm probably odd, I like it because it was a dump.

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