5/1 v Blue Jays

[redsoxrules]

Brandon Moss is due for a hit

 

everbody is due for a hit but it aint hapening

[TheKilo]

Yeah, f*** Aaron Hill. Dude chokes on his own s*** against the Yankees and f***ing is an All Star against us.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Yeah, Moss is due...he hasn't had a hit since the bottom of the ninth last night with the winning run on second, the little bastard.

[SchillingIsTheNatural]

god im sick of this blue jays team

[das11209]

So we are expecting to win again in 9th innings?

 

4 runs in last 5 games including this - great job guys.

[SchillingIsTheNatural]

Yeah' date=' Moss is due...he hasn't had a hit since the bottom of the ninth last night with the winning run on second, the little bastard.[/quote']

 

I was basing the comment on the fact he was robbed of a hit by Hill and had a long fly out...swinging the bat too well to have a 0-3 night

[das11209]

We are not taking any advantage of the Yankee struggles this year. We did that last year - and they almost caught us.

[Jayhawk Bill]

OK, people are starting to get justifiably grumpy and gloomy.

 

Just to offer a change of pace, here's the (Un)Official 2006 Red Sox Season Drinking Game:

 

***

 

Definitions: a “drink” is a normal sip for the individual concerned. For many beer-drinkers, a “drink” is approximately one ounce of beer. A “chug” finishes the remainder of the current beverage at once.

 

***

 

When Tito folds his arms and rocks back and forth like “Rain Man,” take a drink. When he does it while his starting pitcher is imploding, drink two. When Tito’s thrown out of the game, chug.

 

When Dave Wallace visits the mound, drink one slowly to give the bullpen pitcher a chance to warm up.

 

When Theo Epstein shows up on camera, drink. If the announcers mention his fianc?e, drink two.

 

***

 

When Tek is shown on camera doing the “Captain Thing” despite injury, drink one with leadership. If Tek gets into a fight despite being on the DL, chug.

 

If Javy Lopez grounds out to shortstop, drink. If he grounds into a 6-4-3 double play, drink two. If he allows a passed ball or throws the baseball into the outfield, chug.

 

When Youk works the count from 0-2 to 3-2, take a drink. When Youk walks, drink two.

 

When Loretta turns two, drink two.

 

When Youks and Seabass turn a 3-6-3, drink three.

 

When Seabass hits a home run, chug.

 

When (if ever) Seabass smiles on camera, chug.

 

When Lowell hits a double, drink two.

 

When Manny walks, drink. When Manny goes yard, drink two. When Manny is being Manny on the bench or between plays in the outfield, chug.

 

When Coco wiggles his fingers on the bat, drink (but no more than once per at bat). When he steals second, drink two.

 

Heck, if anybody on the Red Sox steals second, drink two. If they steal third, drink three. If they steal home, chug.

 

When Wily Mo catches a fly ball, drink. If he catches a ball while playing right field, drink two. If Wily Mo is being Manny, chug.

 

If Doug Mirabelli strikes out, drink. If he hits a home run, chug.

 

If the announcers comment on how great-looking Gabe Kapler is, drink. If a player comments on how great-looking Gabe Kapler is, the player drinks two. If the announcer mentions the words “Achilles tendon” with respect to Gabe Kapler, drink three.

 

If the announcers comment how great Alex Cora is, drink. If the announcers comment how great Terry Francona thinks Cora is, drink two.

 

If Papi looks intimidating on camera, drink, but no more often than once per at bat. If Papi looks intimidating during another hitter’s at bat, it still counts--drink. Papi, however, cannot be considered intimidating while playing defense.

 

***

 

When Schilling strikes out a batter, drink.

 

When Lester strikes out a batter, drink. When he walks a batter, drink. When he hits a batter, chug.

 

When Beckett allows a hit on a fastball grooved down the middle of the strike zone, drink three.

 

When Johnson allows a ground ball, drink. If the ball is fielded, drink two.

 

Every time David Wells retires a batter, drink. Every time he allows a hit, drink one for every base (one for a single, two for a double, etc.) Every time an opposition runner reaches base any other way, drink two out of frustration. When Wells leaves the game, chug. (This is the “David Wells Rule.” While it may seem extreme and supportive of alcohol abuse, it is, after all, “The David Wells Rule.”)

 

When Kyle Snyder starts, drink from the can or bottle to prevent pouring errors for as long as he’s pitching. If he tops 90 on the radar gun, drink. If he enters in long relief, take a loooooong drink.

 

If Keith Foulke tops 88 on the radar gun, drink.

 

When David Pauley starts, drink double on double plays.

 

When Lenny DiNardo starts, drink two with a big smile each time he gets out of an inning because he’s such a great guy.

 

When any relief pitcher whose name ends in “ez” enters the game, drink three. You’ll need them.

 

When a relief pitcher who has pitched fewer than ten innings with the 2006 Red Sox enters the game, drink two. Drink one more for every batter faced after the first.

 

When Jermaine Van Buren allows a stolen base, drink two, just as if it were a Red Sox stolen base.

 

When Craig Hansen gets an out after looking dorky on the mound, drink one.

 

When Mike Timlin enters the game, shout “Set-up man!” as soon as he’s formally announced. Those not first to do so (ties permitted) drink two. Calling “Set-up man!” too soon is a penalty—drink three. Calling “Set-up man” when Timlin does not enter the game to face the next batter is a worse penalty—chug.

 

When Jon Papelbon enters the game, drink one and smile. If Papelbon leaves the game without earning a save or a win, chug and frown.

 

Winning the game: any player still playing who knows the score and which team won within five minutes of the end of the game is declared a "winner."

[Youk Of The Nation]

Nobody update it, I want to do it!

[Jayhawk Bill]

I'd've gone to Timlin or Tavarez, not Aardsma, trailing by three runs late.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Never mind, I dont want to do it. I think Ill just sit here and chain smoke. Can I make a game out of that?

 

When Dice-K walks somebody, Ill smoke a cigarette. When he K's someone, Ill smoke two.

 

*cough*

 

By the All-Star break I should have 1 million cancer.

[Beaneater]

How about this: every time a Red Sox batter crushes the ball right at a fielder, drink. Should make the games go faster.

[ORS]

Ever go to a party with free booze? Aaron Hill is the guy that shows up with his own 12-pack and doesn't share.

[das11209]

I wont be surprised if Burnett pitches a complete game - we are helping him out as much as we can.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Ever go to a party with free booze? Aaron Hill is the guy that shows up with his own 12-pack and doesn't share.

 

 

And he finishes it within the first two hours and starts drinking everything else, and yelling at people for not sharing.

 

I hate that guy.

[Jayhawk Bill]

Now Javier Lopez: why not Timlin or Tavarez?

[DrewDaGreat]

so we need a bullpen and some bats...badly.

[Youk Of The Nation]

I f***ing hate this s***.

 

 

Our pitching rotation, last cycle:

 

8 IP, 2R

7IP, 2R (1ER), 13 K

8IP, 0R, 1H

7IP, 0ER

7IP, 3R

 

That is flat out f***ing good pitching, and what do we have to show for it?

 

Two losses, two wins (neither going to the deserving starter), and three outs away from a loss.

 

If we got four of those games in the f***ing World Series we'd probably sweep again.

 

f*** f*** f***ety f*** f***.

 

Im gonna go through a carton a day if they keep scoring one run every 100 innings.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Timlin in. How many pitches until Rios scores from third? First pitch swinging, or on the 3-2 count?

[Beaneater]

I'm going with "Timlin miraculously doesn't let the run in". Just a hunch.

[Jayhawk Bill]

I'm going with "Who cares." The odds of Boston's scoring 3+ runs is rather low in any case.

[DrewDaGreat]

I'm going with "Timlin miraculously doesn't let the run in". Just a hunch.

 

nice call

[Beaneater]

I'm going with "Timlin miraculously doesn't let the run in". Just a hunch.

 

Ha! Got it!

[Youk Of The Nation]

Hey cool, you won.

 

The grand prize is four billion dollars, but you only get it if the Sox win.

[Beaneater]

I'm going with "Who cares." The odds of Boston's scoring 3+ runs is rather low in any case.

 

Oh, come on. We've been scoring them by the bushel basket recen--.... Oh, never mind.

[Beaneater]

Hey cool, you won.

 

The grand prize is four billion dollars, but you only get it if the Sox win.

 

Payable out of the nearly-bottomless TalkSox Swiss bank account, I assume.

[Jayhawk Bill]

Oh' date=' come on. We've been scoring them by the bushel basket recen--.... Oh, never mind.[/quote']

 

I figured that Boston's only chance was my going out on a limb and proclaiming the game practically lost.

[Beaneater]

Hey cool, you won.

 

The grand prize is four billion dollars, but you only get it if the Sox win.

 

OK, you're off the hook... this time.

[das11209]

By the way - our offense is the greatest and we are just going thru a little slump. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

 

Sorry to rub it in - but I have taken enough abuse here recently for something which is obviously clear to unbiased eyes.

[Jayhawk Bill]

Pardon my detouring the game thread slightly.

 

For historical purposes, that game was considered humorous in 2006, and it got us through some rough late-summer games as a source of humor, but I don't think that there was ever a competitive game.