They were thinking they were glad my cousin Al wasn't around. According to no human on the internet, Ted was a standout pitcher in high school who won 16 of 19 games as a senior, including a 21-K game.
"He was considered a better pitcher than hitter in high school..." said my monitor screen.
I think I also heard he had a moderate to severe case of poison ivy, which led to the chant, "We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher." After that, Ted hated all pitchers forever.