5GoldGlovesOF,75

Houston will demand Durbin? They might demand he's not in the package... But your two pitching prospects are a fair offer for Paredes. And of course the Astros will ask every team for their top 3 overall prospects first for Alvarez. But this isn't Juan Soto at age 25, when the Yankees got him and Trent Grisham for five guys, including two top pitching prospects... ... which is what I'm offering, along with a new monster-sized hitting prospect, for Yordan, who next month will be 29. But people can forget about Houston getting a haul like Washington did when Soto was 24.

I never played on grass, but had a beer sometimes in between games of a hot doubleheader. But I've been sober all day, and would give up a package of just about any Red Sox for Yordan. He could be one of the few gamechangers in his absolute prime that puts this group back into contention. Paredes or another guy like him just won't be enough to save this offense. If you don't want to waste what may be the last Crochet-Chapman year, gotta go big. For the current and future core, I have to keep Abreu, Anthony and Arias; sorry, the infield is just too unstable going forward -- maybe only Mayer is a key guy going forward. Otherwise, how would Houston feel about this trio for Alvarez: Eyanson, their choice of Tolle or Early, and Justin Gonzales? They'd get this year's breakout minor league pitcher, another MLB rookie starter, and a future Yordan who just made the Top 100 Prospects list...

Temps would have to be sub-zero to make them colder than they already are. But if they made contact and didn't break in half, Sox could have a few frozen ropes.

Then go hard after Yordan Alvarez. If he's even remotely available, there's no one else in baseball like him to help solve what ails Boston. Keep our own A's: Anthony, Abreu, Arias -- not to be unreasonable, but because Red Sox position players throughout the system are either not that good or at least overrated in New England. Houston needs pitching to reboot, and that's Boston's strength. Come on, Brez -- you drafted 89 D1 arms for this moment.

... and that's to Bill Mueller, for ripping the RBI single through Rivera. For perspective on that unlikely feat in that situation, consider this: how many current Red Sox batters would even make contact, and of those, actually put it in play? Answer: negative two. Fred would be typing Game Over when the Yankees got out of their cabs arriving at the Stadium in the afternoon before the game.

Tell the Giants if they pay 90% of his contract, we'll take him back and put on the Riff-Raffy Restricted List... where he can only be activated to suit up and bat against Cole for the rest of their careers.

He doesn't always come through -- because he's a baseball player -- but we've seen him repeat heroics more than most for three years now.

But why do we need to eat now when we'll just be hungry later? Who needs to wear clean clothes when they're just going to get dirty? What's the sense in combing my hair when someday it's all going to fall out.

"We just keep running into good pitchers." Night after night after nightmare.

Personally, I had a lot more fun watching the Red Sox all those years when they were slugging and scoring runs. There certainly seemed to be a lot more fans cheering during those games. And as much as I like Lou Merloni, I couldn't stomach him last night saying that the Red Sox keep running into so many good pitchers. Is it possible this Red Sox offense makes so many pitchers look good? Maybe my despair is easier to take in those 11-9 losses when a couple Red Sox pitchers blow a slugfest. Comparing that to losing a pitchers' duel is a numbers game for me, when I'm more frustrated watching 9 or 10 inept batters basically offer little hope of scoring, inning after inning after inning.

It was over when Varitek, age 29 and coming into his own having a career year, dove for a pop foul and broke his elbow on the dumb wooden on-deck logo. So three legit star players went down. This year we have Crochet and now Contreras out. Anthony was kind of a star... in the WBC and team yearbook and preseason media guides. But there's no Manny still in the line-up.

In 4+ years, including post-seasons, since Kyle Schwarber left Beantown, he's blasted 228 home runs. In their Red Sox careers -- Boston's entire 2026 starting line-up has hit 224 homers. But Schwarber just didn't fit in here. To use a notin simile: that's like looking at a three-car garage with a Pinto, a Gremlin, and a Pacer, and saying there's just no room for a mint 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am.

Brez now scrambling in the bleachers to recruit enough bodies to fill out a Nine so they can finish the game. What's their LBR? (no one squeezed into the box seats could move with their arms folded and pasted across their chests).

Durbin just hit into an inning-ending DP and OB said the side was retired. So I give credit to all the former Red Sox players who just decided to hang 'em up.

But what's our OPS?!?!?!?!?!? Remember, doubles and triples are included in the S... which in Boston also factors into LOB. HRs -- as someone reminded the forum AND BREZ today -- immediately count on the scoreboard.