5GoldGlovesOF,75

The worst part is that the Monstah was just a hatchling when first born, scrambling towards a tavern on Lansdowne Street like a baby turtle trying to reach water before getting picked off by a bird -- and Red Sox batters still couldn't hit a ball over its head.

Or backhand. They could toss reverse spins like slow-pitch softballers and save their arms for a season that matters. The least they can do is try out some of those pitches in BP to guys like Durbin and Masa to see if they can reach the wall. It would make everyone feel good about being pro athletes.

Young guys like Casas and Anthony idolized Colon when he played for the Red Sox because he landed on the IL for swinging too hard.

Those 1934 Red Sox actually finished .500 but 24 games out of first place. Here's a list of some of their players who had zero home runs: Dick Porter, Mel Almada, Gordie Hinkle, Lou Legett and Skinny Graham. They even had a guy named Judge with nada HRs. His first name was Joe (rhymes with No). It gets worse. Those '34 Sox had a Hall of Fame catcher named Rick Ferrell who hit one homer. His little brother, Wes, a pitcher for Boston that year, cranked four 4-baggers (and would lead the family with 38 career bombs to bro's 28).

Imagine the thread if any one of us made the majors and hit exactly one home run: But it was off a position player... He was wearing a big league uniform... It still doesn't really count... It's really on my stat page on baseball reference and can never be erased... You're just senile, old and retired. I'm just tired; retired means you're tired again. Baseball old is over 32.

The Sox haven't won more than 3 games in a row all year, but if they can just get hot with one 5-game winning streak, then... they'll only be 5 games below .500!

Durbin's up to .190, baby! Only 16 points below the Storyline... ... or 18 points below the Duranline... ... or 19 below the Narvaezline. Such batting averages are why the Boston Doormats -- last in the league in runs scored -- can't afford to trade any of the Big Three: because Anthony, Mayer and Campbell are all hitting in the .220s! (KC's even doing it in WOO!). Red Sox fan, fear not the Sophomore Jinx; in another year you'll be renting a tux for the Junior Prom!

The big mouth fan he knew who lives in his mom's basement.

I keep repeating this and he keeps repeating lost challenges. And some posters said he couldn't repeat being clutch -- but how about for the other side?

In Bob Gibson's best season, when he won the Cy Young and NL MVP in 1968, he pitched for the defending world champions. Three of his position player teammates finished 4th, 6th and 7th in the MVP voting. His shortstop also received MVP votes and won the Gold Glove, while his second baseman made the All-Star team. Two other guys were 1-2 in the previous year's MVP voting. The final starting regular was a two-time MVP who set the single season record for home runs. There were six Hall of Famers, including the manager, on that St. Louis pennant winner, when Gibson set the all-time record for lowest ERA of 1.12... and he lost nine games. The question is would Gibson even win nine games for the 2026 Red Sox? Those '68 Cardinals had six position players with at least 28 career WAR. Right now Boston has maybe six average big leaguers on the roster (1B, the OF, and a few utility men).

Don't worry, when Romy comes back, his bat will be better than anyone else's we would have to trade valuable resources to get, lied Sam. And Roman and Casas will amp up the offense when they return -- as long as they don't swing as hard as they can or they might end up back on the IL for the rest of the decade.

I blame the Pitching and Defense. The Red Sox are 2-25 when they score 2 runs or less. That means the mound staff and D just haven't won enough 2-1 and 1-0 games like they were supposed to -- according to the holy master plan of the ex-pitchers who assembled this unfit unit. The ex-pitchers who even after retiring as players still have an obvious disdain for deciduous trees like ash, maple and Old Hickory, dammit.

The smartest guy in the room is one who listens to others' opinions and actually values their input -- especially those closer to the scenes at lower levels or advanced scouting or bird-dogging that builds relationships with potential draft picks or international signees and their families and coaches -- and trusts the veteran wisdom and instincts of a consensus before making personnel decisions.

Or even Dickie Betts. You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day.

Geez, I hope not. Swinging that thing too hard might put him on the IL like Ant every few months.