Funny Canseco steroid story.
Back in 2001, I sued to go to a lot of White Sox games, because tickets were cheap and remarkably easy to get. Sometimes, we wound up sitting in the RF seats back back when the decks were so steep it was literally like climbing a ladder to get from row to row. But hey, twelve dollars.
I went with my wife, who is legally blind (some vision has been restored since 2001). The only player she could recognize from the RF seats was Jose Canseco, because he was simply that much bigger than everyone else on the field.
I thought "THAT should be the steroid test. If my wife can recognize you from 350 feet away by the size of the blur, you are CLEARLY on steroids."