Article: How To Get Ready for the Season in 28 Days

[Davy Andrews]

After an illness kept him out of camp for the first week and a half, Wilyer Abreu will have to cram spring training into four weeks. How will he do it? This article definitely won't tell you.

On February 28, after missing the the entire beginning of camp due to a persistent gastrointestinal virus, Wilyer Abreu was finally cleared for baseball activities. That gives him four weeks — exactly 28 days— to get ready for the season opener on March 27 in Arlington, Texas. How does a baseball player, especially one who’s particularly weak after an illness that serious, get ready to build on a season in which they won a Gold Glove and finished sixth in the Rookie of the Year voting, all in just 28 days? I have no idea. I'm just a writer. Rather than do research or ask anyone who might know, I decided to just take a big, fat guess. You with me? I just made it all up. But between you and me, I think I might have really nailed it. So without further ado, here it is, my 28-day plan for baseball success. 

February 28: Say hello to everyone.
Look, you’ve been away a long time. The season ended all the way back in October. Just to be safe, you should probably make the rounds and introduce yourself to everyone, just in case they forgot your name over the winter. Also, there are some new players. Garrett is the tall one. Alex is the one who pretends he’s tall.

March 1: Try on your uniform.
How are you supposed to play like a winner if you don’t dress like a winner? Oh, they switched the pants back to the old ones, so they’re not completely see-through anymore. I don’t know if that changes your plans or anything. If you really liked giving everybody a clear view of all your business, maybe we can see if they still have some of the transparent pants.

March 2: Crease the brim of your hat.
Ok, this was actually supposed to happen yesterday, but sometimes you get so caught up with the jersey and the spikes and the pants that you forget. Gotta crease that brim, though. Can’t be looking like a dad out there. What if the sun gets in the very corner of your eye and you lose the ball and the World Series?

March 3: Break in your glove.
That’s right, it’s every dad’s favorite activity! Time to break out that glove oil and get to work. How are you going to win a second straight Gold Glove with a hunk of leather that’s so stiff you can’t even squeeze it? Don’t forget to stick it under your mattress before you go to bed.

March 4: Get the lay of the land.
Look, the past three days have been a lot. Maybe on day four, you just get your bearings. Which one is right field again? Are you a stirrups guy or a full socks guy? Where’s your locker? You still haven’t found it after three days. You’ve just been sitting on a Gatorade cooler in the locker room while you got your spikes on. Now’s the time to get oriented.

March 5: Play catch.
That’s right, it’s time for baseball related activities. Wait, where’s your glove? It’s still under your mattress? Ok, maybe one of those little kids in the stands would let you borrow theirs. Just trade an autographed ball or something. I don't know, tell them you're Jarren Duran!

Great work. Let’s get back in the swing of things. Catch the ball. Throw the ball. Catch the ball. Throw the ball — oh no, I’m sorry! Ugh, that was terrible. Way over your head. This is embarrassing. No, I’ll go get it. Really. I don’t mind. It was my fault any — ok, well, thank you. Catch the ball. Throw the ball. Catch the ball. Get in the zone. Throw the ball. Catch the ball. Throw the ball – damn it, not again!

March 6: Breathe deeply and visualize success.
Don’t breathe too deeply, of course; you don’t want to hyperventilate. But yeah, you have to prepare yourself mentally for the season, so focus on your breath, and then picture yourself: you’re in the batter’s box spitting on a changeup just off the plate, you’re recognizing a front hip sinker and ripping it down the line like a golden god, you’re finally asking that cute barista for their phone number, you’re getting an amazing jump and making a sliding catch on a liner that’s slicing away from you in the corner, you’re finally telling Alex Cora that you’re name is Wilyer, not Wilbur.

March 7: Fungoes.
That’s right, more baseball. Very nearly two days in a row. Head on out to right field – you did figure out where right field is, right? It’s the one with the little wall. There you go. Now just have at it. Go run ‘em down. Make some plays. Get that uniform dirty. Oh wow, you're pretty good at this.

March 8: Gatorade break.
That’s right. Time to hydrate. Replenish those electrolytes. It’s important to get your daily dose of red food coloring.

March 9: Apply eye black.
The glare is brutal out here in Florida. Smear some gunk on your face. That’s it. Maybe just a little more.

March 10: Bullpen session.
Wait, sorry, I think your schedule got mixed up with someone else's. You weren’t actually supposed to throw a bullpen session today. That’s just for pitchers. But it’s great to hear that you had fun. And also that you can hit 95 mph with 13 inches of arm-side run. We’ll definitely keep that in mind in August when half the rotation’s on the shelf.

March 11: Dry swings.
This is where the real baseball happens. Time for some dry swings. Grab a bat – oh shoot, we never put picking a bat on our list – ok, borrow a bat and just start swinging. No ball. No tee. Just you, getting that swing fine tuned to perfection. That's it, lovely dry swings, the closest thing to no swings at all.

March 12: Cage work.
Wait, you didn’t do your work in the batting cage today? You went back and had another bullpen session? This has to stop. I don’t care if Andrew Bailey thinks you can make it. Tomorrow you’re doing your cage work.

March 13: Cage work for real.
Ok, Now you actually have to go into the batting cages and hit some pitches.

March 14: Catch up on current events.
Look, you can’t baseball all the time. It’s important to be a well-informed member of society, so let’s just check in on the news real quick. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. That was a mistake. Just go ahead and spend the rest of the day in bed with the blankets pulled up all the way over your head.

March 15: Powerade break.
I mean, you can’t drink Gatorade all the time, right? Sometimes you just need your electrolytes to taste a little bit worse, to look a little bluer. The important thing is that you’re just pouring sugar into your body.

March 16: Water break.
Ok, the Powerade was a mistake. You had a stomachache all day, and let’s not even talk about the colors you saw when you went to the bathroom. Just water today.

March 17: Batting practice.
It’s time. You’re going to get in that cage and show them what you can do out on the field. Really pound the old horsehide, you know? Really wallop it. Swing for the fences.

March 18: Ice.
It’s important to keep the inflammation in check. Get some ice packs on your knees and your shoulders and your elbows and your face. Hop in the cold tub. Drink a couple Frosties. If you don’t get hypothermia, you’re not icing hard enough.

Match 19: Hit the gym.
Yeah, you should probably get a lift in at some point. Gotta get swole. One day should cover it.

March 20: Cheat day.
Great lift. You’ve definitely earned a break. Just head over the Costco on Alico road, get the biggest container of Reese’s peanut butter cups you can find, and go town. Really have at it.

March 21: Barf day.
I mean, who knew that Reese’s came in containers that big? How could anyone have known that they would sell them to you by the pallet? It’s so impressive that managed to eat them all. Really, heroic work. We’ll talk once you get out of the hospital.

March 22: Maybe one more batting practice.
Yeah, this seems like a good idea. Hitting’s pretty important. Maybe you practice it more than once this month.

March 23: Intrasquad scrimmage.
That’s right. You’re going to be playing ball against your teammates. This should be fun.

March 24: Travel day.
Alright, two days until Opening Day. Let’s hit the skies. We’re heading to Texas. Maybe watch something inspiring on the flight, like Field of Dreams. Oh, you’ve already picked your movie? You’re watching The Wild Robot? Hmm. No, no, it’s great. It’s just…you know, it’s not really a Get Psyched Up kind of movie. It’s more of a Find Yourself Spontaneously Weeping for Several Days Afterward kind of movie. But sure, great choice.

March 25: Check the scouting reports.
I told you. Tearjerker, right? Ok, buck up. So you’re playing the Rangers tomorrow. Big day. Season opener. Better check all those tendencies. What’s this guy like to throw to lefties when he’s behind? A sinker. A sweeper. A kick change? Surely, you’re making that up. That can’t be the name of a real pitch. Kick change? I think you’re messing with me. This is why nobody likes the analytics nerds.

March 26: Carbo-load.
Everybody knows that the night before a big athletic event, you need to pack in the carbohydrates. After all, sports science and nutrition probably haven’t learned anything new in the last 30 years, right? So load up on pasta and bread. Luckily, there’s an Olive Garden that’s just a 10-minute bike ride from the ballpark. Buon appetito! Now you’re ready for the season.

March 27: Play ball.
Yeah, maybe some Tums are in order, but I can’t believe you made it. You crammed so much into the last four weeks just to get ready for the season, and now you’re here. You’re ready. You can do this. Oh no. What’s wrong? Are you crying? Did all that exposed metalwork at Globe Life Park remind you of the Universal Dynamics factory at the end The Wild Robot? Oh God. Ok, we’ll give you some time. Let's find you some tissues. Maybe you sit this one out after all.  

View full article

[Caleb Kohn]

I will absolutely be using this regimen to prepare for the upcoming softball season. I needed a reason to watch the wild robot anyways.