Best. Chart. Ever.

[Youk Of The Nation]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/060403_april

 

Hilarious 'predictions' for every day of the MLB season.

 

 

My personal favorite is August 22nd.

[redsoxrules]

that is hilarious good find:lol:

[nebhusker]

hahahaha

[The Monster is my Mom]

I like April 27:

 

April 27 -- Orioles starter Kris Benson gives up 12 runs in the first inning to the Blue Jays, distracted by his ex-wife having sex with the Toronto Maple Leafs in a Rogers Centre hotel room overlooking center field.

 

And April 30:

 

April 30 -- The Boston Red Sox send Coco Crisp, off to a 5-for-90 start at the plate, to the minors to grow a nasty beard, lengthen his hair, and experiment with adultery.

[Youk Of The Nation]

September 24 -- Manny Ramirez tells Coco Crisp that he thought he looked better last year when he wasn't so tan and had long hair and a beard. Crisp informs Ramirez that he is not Johnny Damon and that Damon hasn't been on the team all season, after which Ramirez just stares blankly for a few seconds and then walks away.

[yeszir]

September 24 -- Manny Ramirez tells Coco Crisp that he thought he looked better last year when he wasn't so tan and had long hair and a beard. Crisp informs Ramirez that he is not Johnny Damon and that Damon hasn't been on the team all season, after which Ramirez just stares blankly for a few seconds and then walks away.

[KeepTheFaith1229]

May 16 -- A Red Sox front office employee drives struggling third baseman Mike Lowell way out into the country, lets him run around in a field for a few minutes, and then shoots him.

[Youk Of The Nation]

August 13 -- Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger throws out the first pitch before a Pirates home game against the Cardinals, giving the Pirates one of their few sellouts of the season.

[Youk Of The Nation]

August 20 -- Red Sox closer Keith Foulke blows his 28th save of the year, but Boston manager Terry Francona says he's going to stick with Foulke a little bit longer because he's "this close" to returning to his prior form.

 

 

August 21 -- A strike by a local beer distributor leaves Wrigley Field without beer for one game, forcing 40,000 Cubs fans to watch a game sober and realize for the first time that they've been watching some pretty awful baseball over the past 100 years.

[Youk Of The Nation]

This one is on my birthday:

 

 

May 9 -- Alex Rodriguez grants the wish of a dying child, who turns out to be from Boston, by striking out four times in a game against the Red Sox.

[Youk Of The Nation]

May 29 -- Curt Schilling logs onto a Boston Red Sox fan message board to ask users if anyone knows how to deep-fry a Twinkie.

[KeepTheFaith1229]

Some of the Red Sox ones pissed me off.

[Youk Of The Nation]

July 6 -- The Yankees end a five-game losing streak with a 7-3 victory over the Guardians, prompting George Steinbrenner to unlock Brian Cashman's office and allow his general manger out for the first time in nearly a week so he can eat something and use the bathroom.

 

(KTF, which ones? I actually thought all the Manny ones were awesome)

[KeepTheFaith1229]

(KTF, which ones? I actually thought all the Manny ones were awesome)

 

June 25 -- With the Phillies in Boston for an interleague series, Red Sox and Phillies fans get in a huge brawl over who is the most annoying.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Eh, I guess thats a little stupid. This one is funny though:

 

 

August 25 -- The 123,486th book on the Boston Red Sox' 2004 season hits store shelves, besting the JFK assassination for the all-time record for most books published on one topic.

[Youk Of The Nation]

August 28 -- Kerry Wood is named Player of the Year by the National Association of Orthopedic Surgeons.

 

September 18 -- White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski creates a MySpace page in hopes of getting some friends for the first time in his life.

[KeepTheFaith1229]

Yeah, even I had to admit the book one was funny.

[Youk Of The Nation]

September 27 -- Barry Bonds hits his 48th home run of the season, passing Hank Aaron on the all-time list and, in a scene reminiscent of Aaron's record-breaking blast, is joined by fans as he rounds second base. However, in a scene not reminiscent of Aaron's record-breaking blast, Bonds isn't congratulated by the fans, but punched over and over and over again.

 

 

This one was written just for Moose.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Yeah, even I had to admit the book one was funny.

 

 

Its so true, too. I mean, sure there was going to be a book, but "From the Sidelines: A Fenway Janitor's Stepsons Best Friends Third Cousins Car Mechanics' Great Uncles Journey Through the 2004 Boston Red Sox Season" is a little bit of overkill.

[Optimist]

May 2 -- Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez forces Major League Baseball to again amend its policy on electronic devices on the field after he plays an entire game in left with a boombox on his shoulder.

 

May 28 -- On "Kids Run The Bases" day at Comerica Park, Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers punches a 7-year-old boy who points a camera at him.

 

June 25 -- With the Phillies in Boston for an interleague series, Red Sox and Phillies fans get in a huge brawl over who is the most annoying.

 

July 26 -- With the trade deadline just five days away, the Yankees find someone to take the huge salaries of disappointing past acquisitions Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright off their hands, shipping the duo to Isiah Thomas and the Knicks in exchange for cash.

 

August 25 -- The 123,486th book on the Boston Red Sox' 2004 season hits store shelves, besting the JFK assassination for the all-time record for most books published on one topic.

 

September 17 -- The Red Sox lose to the Yankees, falling a hopeless 11 games behind New York and seven games behind the second-place Blue Jays. Boston management announces a change of mind and will allow fans to wear "Yankees Suck" T-shirts at Fenway Park again.

 

September 27 -- Barry Bonds hits his 48th home run of the season, passing Hank Aaron on the all-time list and, in a scene reminiscent of Aaron's record-breaking blast, is joined by fans as he rounds second base. However, in a scene not reminiscent of Aaron's record-breaking blast, Bonds isn't congratulated by the fans, but punched over and over and over again.

 

:lol:

[26 to 6]

June 25 -- With the Phillies in Boston for an interleague series, Red Sox and Phillies fans get in a huge brawl over who is the most annoying.

Good one.

[empirestrikesback26]

Nothing that isn't true.

[jimmycarter05]

May 13th.

[Youk Of The Nation]

May 14 -- A's catcher Jason Kendall is busted for using a corked bat. Kendall had raised suspicions by hitting two balls to the warning track in one week.

[Youk Of The Nation]

May 17 -- Toronto's high-priced free agents are distraught to discover the "big money" contracts they signed in the offseason were for Canadian dollars.

[TheRivernator]

this one is great...

May 16 -- A Red Sox front office employee drives struggling third baseman Mike Lowell way out into the country, lets him run around in a field for a few minutes, and then shoots him

[TheRivernator]

June 8 -- Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez is arrested for masterminding a six-state crime ring. However, prosecutors refuse to file charges against the popular outfielder after his attorney explains it was just a case of "Manny being Manny."

 

wow, and these are just a sox one. The Soriano ones are hilarious...

[26 to 6]

They were all pretty funny. Definately bookmarked that page.

[Youk Of The Nation]

May 24 -- In an 11-4 loss to the Rockies, Grady Little's Dodger bullpen starts showing its first signs of fatigue, most likely due to Little's season-long practice of going to the pen by the third inning in hopes of living down his reputation for leaving starters in too long.

[Youk Of The Nation]

May 30 -- Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez drops a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on his big toe and tells team officials the pain is so great he won't be able to pitch again until September.