In all seriousness, Seattle won't be taking on David Price's AAV salary of $31 million. That's crazy money in light of his production and injury concerns ... unless Price agrees to opt out after this season (that's not happening).
Because of his postseason ineligibility, Robinson Cano might not have a dedicated starting role when he returns from the suspension list on August 15. Cano could be Seattle's super utility player if 1) he learns to play first base, a move rumored for several years, 2) if Ryon Healy can play once a week at third base, where he has played a majority of his MLB games, and 3) if Dee Gordon can play once a week at shortstop, his original position. Those contingencies would permit Cano to provide needed late-season breaks to Nelson Cruz at DH, Healy at first base, Gordon at second base, Jean Segura at shortstop and Kyle Seager at third base.
Probably too many moving parts.