Nah, the best person for a thread like this is Tim McCarver.
"When a batter has two strikes, he should take a pitch."
"Mt. Everest erupts again!"
"Dalton is using his glove like a mitt"
"The reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder."
"A walk is as good as a home run"
"That pitch wasn't down and in, that pitch was down and up."
"Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out."
"Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What's a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives."
"Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers and ten toes."
"One thing about ground balls, they don't go out of the ballpark."
"I think Tim Wakefield would even say tonight that Tim Wakefield got to Tim Wakefield tonight."
"Speed slows down the game."
"The only difference between resigning and re-signing is a hyphen."
"As a new day begins in New York, the sun sets in Hawaii."