Mike Trout? I think he's overrated!
Pablo? He's not that fat. There's just more of him to love!
Carl Everett? Maybe dinosaurs really didn't exist!
The 2000 Red Sox? They were a lovable bunch! Favorite team ever!
Calvin Schiraldi? You know, if it wasn't for him, they probably wouldn't have made it to the WS anyway! It's time to give him our gratitude!
Don Zimmer? He just had wonderfully chubby cheeks. Should totally be in the Sox HOF!
Wally Wave? Greatest move by NESN since Sox Appeal (totally underrated show IMO)!
Mickey Rivers? He was just a great competitor!
Ted Williams' son? He was protecting Ted's legacy! Great guy!