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Jacoby_Ellsbury

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Everything posted by Jacoby_Ellsbury

  1. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I wonder how Valentine feels watching the clubhouse he wrecked last season make a push for 100 wins this season.
  2. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/mlb/players/full/5019.png&w=350&h=254 Peavy (11-5, 4.01, 20 starts) vs http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/mlb/players/full/30506.png&w=350&h=254 Hellickson (11-8, 5.04, 28 starts) This guy hasn't made it to the sixth inning in five of his last seven starts, but I'm a little concerned because it always seems like the scrubs get up for the Sox, especially if opposing team's aces aren't quite getting it done... oh who am I kidding. They're gonna kicks Hellickson's little boy scrotum right into his throat while hitting holes through Tropicana's scoreboard. Sadly I will not be able to witness the action. Five hours of night classes mojo? Lovechild of MacEnroe and McCarver mojo? Try not to hang myself from the ceiling mojo?
  3. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    You violated mojo, they said. You're setting us up to lose, they said. Well f*** OFF
  4. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Magicarp literally just slashed Tampa's throat. With his fangs.
  5. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Me as well.
  6. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Operative word being 'around' as opposed to 'on'. I do have balls. Proof? I dragged them all over your face when I didn't acknowledge your shotgunned game thread. just kidding YOTN plz don't lock
  7. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I was hoping to see him hobble around Fenway for one last time this season.
  8. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Right? I have a more impressive beard around my balls.
  9. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Aaaaand he's gone! Jeter's season over. Fear teh Yanks.
  10. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Love the head shape. Is he a descendant of Frankenstein?
  11. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/mlb/players/full/3845.png&w=350&h=254 Ryan Dempster (8-9, 4.79, 27 starts) vs. http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/mlb/players/full/31086.png&w=350&h=254 Alex Cobb (8-3, 2.99, 18 starts) Felix Doubront is being skipped in the rotation, but we'll see how long that lasts with Dempster on the mound tonight. Maybe a miracle happens and he John Lackeys Cobb, the same way Buchholz and friends John Lackey'd Price last night. Or maybe he'll take the moral high ground again and throw at Yunel Escobar for having "You play like a girl" painted in his eye black. Still leading the league in runs and we're still one of only two teams in the majors with 700 runs scored on the season (and over halfway to 800). However, those dickheads in Detroit overtook us in total differential last night. Unacceptable. I wish them a painful night in south Chicago. Oh, and our playoff chances? According to ESPN, 100%. Gee, thanks for counting our chickens for us.
  12. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/117/014/GsE3k.jpg
  13. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Drew over Bogaerts against a left hander? Farrell's trying to screw my mojo.
  14. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Ellsbury could miss the postseason, or he could be back to his normal self in exactly two weeks. Anything can happen, the way he's going.
  15. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Ellsbury limps to the plate in the 9th to pinch hit with the bases loaded. He calmly deposits a meatball from Rodney into the right field bleachers, gimps around the bases, then goes out to the mound to grab a distraught Rodney's head, stuffs it between his ass cheeks, and farts right in his face, then runs off the mound, laughing hysterically, Family Guy style. Castiglione's call is "Ellsbury craps his pants, right in Fernando Rodney's face! Can you believe it!" Remy also comes out of hiding to broadcast the ninth inning on NESN, but he and Orsillo bungle the call when they're too busy wheezing and laughing at someone's nachos instead of paying attention to what's happening on the diamond.
  16. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Well this was one of the dumbest things I've read in a while.
  17. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    They probably browse and notice that all the regulars pretty much ignore the new people until they break the door down and force themselves into the thick of things. And they don't have the balls to do it. General sites kind of suck in general. If I could find a good Celtics specific forum I'd have bailed on my main basketball site long ago.
  18. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Because of the resistance, I'm thinking about posting the lineups and game notes myself too. I will conquer talksox.
  19. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Seriously? It's a friendly wager for people whining about my combo breaker. Adds some excitement to things and gives me something to obsess over in what's sure to be a very exciting week.
  20. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    The Sox definitely defy the hell out of your brand of logic...
  21. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    By the way, if I hadn't started this today, this board would have absolutely zero activity right now. You're all welcome.
  22. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    You can either sit there and bitch or you can put your money where your mouth is.
  23. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Man up, naysayers.
  24. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Sounds like a plan. Now, the kicker: you, UN, and SFF get banned for a day for every win my mojo accumulates. If we sweep Tampa, then your bans become one day for every run we outscore them by, in addition to the three days for the three wins.
  25. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    You can't shotgun game threads. That's cheating.
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