No one is ever going to take third against the Rays. Ever again.
"And Jeter lines a fastball into right-center. Gardner hits second...oh, the ball is bobbled out in right! Gardener heads to third. The throw is off-line, he's...wait a second, what's this? Evan Longoria is inserting a magazine into his Kalashnikov...Gardener stops and reconsiders. He looks left, right, left again. He looks at Jeter. Jeter shrugs and inches back towards first, sweating profusely...Well, I guess Gardener has to be asking himself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, does he?
Aaaaand, no. Gardner meekly slinks back to second base. Longoria plays to the crowd, now. He's blowing imaginary smoke from the barrel of his firearm. Goodness, Jim, what a show, eh?"
"Yeah, Dave, an absolutely picture-perfect play by Longoria. At the moment the young Rays third baseman is leading the league in RBIs, home runs and flesh wounds, the old 'Ty Cobb Triple Crown'. And when you-oh, now he's done it. He's just cracked Alex Rodriguez with the rifle's stock. The crowd is going absolutely wild, Dave. It's a standing O and another fantastic night here at the Trop"
"It's a great time to be a Ray, that's for sure, Jim. Who'd have thought A-Rod had that much blood in his scalp?!"
"Truly a sight to behold, Dave"