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Youk Of The Nation

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Everything posted by Youk Of The Nation

  1. Yeah, he should have asked Red Sox fans, we all could have told him you can't always get what you want. Like, for instance, a 100M+ outfielder who is productive and likable.
  2. God, spending 100 years tending goats sounds like the worst kind of hell.
  3. My main wish is to not get much older.
  4. If you fill a Dasani bottle with vodka, it doesn't make it water. It just makes it look like water, I think that's where he got confused. I used to think the same way until my high school PE teacher explained it to me while my classmates untangled me from the volleyball net.
  5. Oh, don't get me wrong, sometimes I can be too. I try not to take it out on others, I tend to turn it inwards. I think that's where the bad jokes come from.
  6. Sometimes awful puns pop into my head. Considering what the world keeps doing to me, I feel I have the right to occasionally unleash these horrific jokes upon the world, sort of like Dane Cook if he was also funny sometimes.
  7. Well, obviously all liquids have this effect to one degree or another, but I can't drink alcohol in quite the same volume as soda. If I drank the same number of beers or shots in one day as I do soda, I'd be dead.
  8. Hey, what do you call a telescope if Jake Peavy is using it? A Peavy see pipe!
  9. I know I have. I have managed to keep from starting drinking again by septupling (roughly) my daily intake of Dr Pepper. On one hand, I am still sober. On the other hand, I've basically had to pee for the last eight days in a row.
  10. Yankees staving off that final nail in the coffin.
  11. Yeah, because clearly you know everything that has gone on in my life that led, directly and indirectly to my decision. That's why when I insulted you for being an ******* to someone about what kind of pancakes they like, you immediately jump to making snide allusions to my past substance abuse to...what? Make me feel bad? Maybe I can murder someone you love and then get away with it, and then mock you for whatever way you end up trying to live with it! Who's the f***ing 5 year old here? I don't know why the f*** I haven't gotten rid of you yet. I hate you. Every single f***ing post is either a dig at someone for no f***ing reason or just you being a general *******. Get ready to not be around anymore, because the day is coming soon where I'm going to stop putting up with your presence. Oh, yeah, and in case I didn't make it clear, f*** you.
  12. Yeah, except adults who enjoy both pancakes and chocolate. Also, adults who aren't bitter and cynical and completely lacking in any sort of enjoyment.
  13. Goddamn it, now I want waffles. You son of a bitch.
  14. BTR mojo is f***ing awesome.
  15. It's actually two f***ing hits, but no f***ing runs, against f***ing Nolasco. f***ing f***. f***.
  16. They could just wait until he croaks in the booth and cover him in bronze.
  17. Something about the purity of baseball or fundamentals or some other stupid crap. Yeah, I love looking up box scores when I come home from work and seeing seventeen substitutions in a nine-inning game because the starters sucked. And if I'm lucky, I can watch the video clips on MLB.com of all the sacrifice bunts and strikeouts for the pitchers!
  18. I know it's only the preseason, but man do I love when the Patriots get hammered. It's like the Yankees or the Blackhawks losing. It's just...warm and fuzzy.
  19. I don't know what's funnier. The picture, or the fact that it looks less ridiculous than his actual face.
  20. John Sterling freaked out when Ichiro got his hit today and failed to mention that the 4000 was between the MLB and Japan and would not go down in the MLB record books. "ICHIRO BECOMES THE THIRD PLAYER IN MAJOR LEAGUE HISTORY WITH 4000 HITS!!!!" Anyone listening would think Ichiro had just f***ed Ty Cobb's wife.
  21. Actually, screw it, I'm deleting this thread since there is no discussion about Ellsbury in it.
  22. Well, I do. This thread is merged. From now on, everyone STOP MAKING THREADS FOR EVERYTHING. Not every single thought you have needs to be posted as a brand-new thread.
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