This is all true.
Of course, this is not school - this is a job. And unlike a lot of other jobs - baseball is a job where you fail all the time, even when you did everything correct. Look at when Betts lined into the double play in Game 4. Everybody did the right thing there. Benintendi made a secondary lead to 2nd base but had his head up ... Betts made as perfect contact as anybody could make. And they got 2 outs for it. And then the previous game, Devers muscled a ball he was fooled on into a double.
From the stuff I've read - it seems with our kiddos in particular, the problem is not they weren't whipped enough. The problem is the kids whipped themselves when stuff was happening, and the coaching staff did not have the personalities who could come, crack and joke and tell them "just keep at it. it's nothing that a ball falling between two fielders can't fix." It is possible that the coaching staff was not very good at making the clubhouse a great office to go work at.
Now this does not mean Farrell was without strengths. The team did take on his professionalism and intensity. He managed the pitching staff very well. But when the young guys collectively underperformed - then sure, the approach needs review.