now I know why you guys didnt side with seabeach on the wife beating issue. It is all coming back to me.
Actual Los Angeles Laws
1. It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
2. You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
3. You may not hunt moths under a street light.
4. It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
5. Toads may not be licked.
6. It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
7. Zoot suits are prohibited
just having some fun with you guys. Dug this one up on the internet as well.
Greater Los Angeles Area Driver's License Application
Name: _______________ Stage name: ________________
Agent: ______________ Attorney: __________________
Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male
___formerly female ___both
If female, indicate breast implant size: ____
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely
operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: __________________
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead
Please indicate activities you perform while driving:
Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety magazine
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
Please indicate how many times
a) You expect to shoot at other drivers: _____
How many times you expect to be shot at while driving: _____
Please indicate your number of therapy sessions per week: ____
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
If none, please explain: _______________________________
What is the length of your daily commute?
a) 1 hour
2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more
TEST (Please indicate the correct answer):
If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime
Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your
car on TV in a high-speed chase
c) Call your attorney and discuss a lawsuit against the cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
a) Stop your car
Keep driving and hope for the best
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4
In the event of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH
Drive twice as fast as usual
c) You're not sure what "rain" is
When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack,
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit
Please turn your test in to the lady behind the bulletproof
virtual window on your left.