Youk Of The Nation

Come on, Gameday, don't freeze on me now

No better appetizer to a Red Sox game than that.

I haven't touched alcohol in almost ten months, doing well so far with just soda.

Hey, I am one-quarter Peruvian goddammit.

That is the young, smooth, fresh-faced Fred's nickname for the old man John Henry, used without a hint of awareness of situational irony.

Don't try to piss me off now, you were doing so well.

Holy s***, sigged.

That would really sting if it wasn't a rewording of the same joke I made that you quoted.

Oh, don't worry. To disappoint people they first have to have positive expectations.

Thunder's opinion of anything is skewed. He's like sixteen years old; his opinions aren't even fully developed yet. They'll come in with his training bra.

At the risk of inciting further arguments, I would have been happy with (and had honestly expected) BTR mojo to start the season. I also didn't expect the first GT until tomorrow morning.

The trick is to use olive oil instead of shaving cream, but if you've been spying through my windows you already know that.

I've already started Windexing, I hope you appreciate the effort.

Ahh, spring. The first flower buds, the first crisp rays of sunlight lancing down from the cloudy sky, the first wildly exaggerated TalkSox gamethread threat. As the world turns, so our lives return to these glorious moments.

I had to google that name. Thirty seconds with Google Image Search later, I can say that I am not dating her, but I'd like to.

Baseball is here! The long, dark offseason is over in two and a half hours. Finally! I have a gigantic bag of Salt and Vinegar chips, a full pack of cigarettes, a twelve-pack of Dr Pepper, and my laptop. Bring on the Cards/Cubs, bitches! GO BASEBALL!

I'm so excited for baseball I can barely wait until the Cubs/Cardinals game tonight. WOOO BASEBALLLL

Ive noticed that if I click on the subforum first, and then the thread, I have no issues. However, if I click directly on the thread link on the main page (for the "last posted" threads), I get the error.

Yes. I actually got one the first time I tried to open this thread.

Wait, there was baseball when you were a kid?!

Automating balls and strikes would be a terrible idea. I'm all for speeding up the sometimes torturous pace of games, but the so-called "human element" is a big part of what makes the game so interesting. If you substitute a computer for ball and strike calls, you get another step closer to turning baseball into a live-action video game. Instant replay is one thing, because it doesn't truly eliminate the duties of the umpires. Humans make mistakes, and the folly of man is just one of the many facets of baseball (to be hyperbolic).

So you're saying a pep talk from the backup third baseman isn't important enough to halt the game? Madness!

Id still rather see a spate of explosive diarrhea than a soccer game.

Other changes include: - Umpires will no longer wait for CC Sabathia's stomach jiggling to come to a complete stop before signaling the start of the inning - To cut down on time spent on disputed safe/out calls past second base, all runners who pass second base will be automatically awarded an inside-the-park homerun - Celebrated hipster Brian Wilson will no longer be allowed to use the complete unedited version of "Alice's Restaurant" as his introduction music - Jim Joyce will be granted three syllables in which to call a strike; he will be fined five thousand dollars for each syllable beyond that - Tim Lincecum will be barred from taking Funyun breaks after the sixth inning - In lieu of a lineup card, the Houston Astros will present the umpiring crew chief with a formal declaration of unconditional surrender - Los Angeles Angels pitching coach Mike Butcher will be confined to a seated position in the dugout by armed security guards - Rain delays will be abolished in favor of the new "there is no drying in baseball" policy - All players will be required to take laxatives before games; with the understanding that there will be no restroom breaks until the contest is over - The number of pitching changes will be limited to three, unless the guy being replaced and the guy replacing him look enough alike to confuse someone of a different ethnic background

You say that now, but wait until he eats, shoots, and leaves.