Article: Boston’s Fascination With Tommy John Patients Dates Back to 2020 Poker Game

[Brandon Glick]

This is a work of satire. Please enjoy.

The Boston Red Sox came into this offseason with a clear mission: improve the starting rotation. Though the team finished the 2024 season tied for seventh in rotation ERA (3.81), their FIP (4.10) ranked in the middle of the pack. It was clear to any onlookers that, outside of breakout right-hander Tanner Houck, the team lacked impact talent. Well, thus far, the team has accomplished its goal, trading for Garrett Crochet and signing free agent pitchers Walker Buehler and Patrick Sandoval. With Lucas Giolito set to return from injury in 2025, the rotation is both deeper and more talented.

Dig a little deeper, however, and you'll notice a common characteristic among the new arrivals: all four have undergone Tommy John surgery in the last three seasons. While that isn't that uncommon in a day and age where it seems that everyone and their mother is taking a ticket and waiting for their number to be called to get the privilege to go under the knife, it is peculiar that the Red Sox seem to be exclusively targeting starters with scarred elbows. It applies to relievers like Liam Hendriks and Justin Wilson.

I caught up with chief baseball officer Craig Breslow during our monthly book club meeting — this month's book was the Merriam-Webster dictionary, chosen by Breslow himself — and asked about the reasoning behind the club's apparent predilection. He pulled me aside, saying nothing, and merely pointed at a humongous poster of famed surgeon Dr. James Andrews on his wall.

Intrigued, I decided to investigate the matter further. I visited Dr. Andrews' home and was greeted at the door by Theo Epstein, architect of curse-busting teams in both Boston and Chicago. Epstein escorted me inside, and I bore witness to a poker game between Epstein, Cubs POBO Jed Hoyer, and Dr. Andrews. Tommy John, the 26-year MLB veteran, was dealing the cards. There was a fifth chair at the table, but no executive seated in it. As he played with "his boys," Andrews explained to me that the empty seat usually belonged to Breslow. Apparently, Breslow lost a rather high-stakes hand of poker in December 2020. "It was the middle of the pandemic," said Andrews, "so you have to understand that everyone was getting desperate. The Winter Meetings were canceled that year. Craig just got promoted by these two buffoons," he cackled, pointing at Hoyer and Epstein, "and he was so excited to finally get in on our little game here. I knew his reputation as a wunderkind, so I took him for a ride. He's still paying off the debt."

I asked the good doctor whether it wasn't enough to be a world-renowned surgeon. Did he really have to grift the Cubs' assistant general manager too? The entire table, except for Tommy John, laughed. "I took no pleasure in resurrecting any of those careers," Andrews explained. "Fixing knees and elbows was just a job. But drawing to a full house and forcing Craig to spend his entire career signing only pitchers with a Tommy John on their chart? Now that was fun."

Processing this new information, I started to ask whether Breslow's debt was officially paid, now that he'd signed half a dozen such pitchers and Andrews was retired from his "just a job." Tommy John must have sensed it coming, though, because he shook his head and escorted me out the front door before I could say another word.

In other news, next month's book club assignment is Roget's Thesaurus.

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