It's time, bitches. Playoff f***ing baseball. Cleveland, due to the fact that they choked to death on epic mounds of balls, couldn't manage to beat Tampa in their own house so the task falls down to our merry band of bearded badasses.
We will beat these f***ers because we're better than they are. This battle will be so lopsided that it's going to look more unfair than if Batman decided to go around beating up newborns.
Joe Maddon and his group of overrated, annoying douchebags are going to be crying in the dugout after the massive ALDS dump we take in their mouths when we are done celebrating on the field with beer, fried chicken, and the Rays players' wives.
Jon Lester gets the ball in game 1 against some lily little bitch named Matt Moore. Jon made cancer his own bitch, Matt Moore isn't s*** and should be getting ready to tattoo "Jon Lester's backup bitch" on his ass.