Jacoby_Ellsbury

I just want to stay level-headed about this team and not get carried away. These first two games have been impressive as f***.

Don't want to blow my load after one game, but if Bradley keeps that up on a consistent basis he might earn himself a T-shirt sale.

Alright, I'm done. Time for class.

Joba jumped at the chance to become ball boy and bat boy in high school, but the actual job descriptions weren't what he had in mind.

Joba had a son just so he could finger his ass while changing his diaper.

Joba's facial hair is like Joba's cock. He's the only one who enjoys seeing it, and he should be arrested for exposing it in public.

I smell meconium. Did Joba burp?

Joba. Oh wait, this isn't word association?

After reading this I'm mildly surprised that you can even access the internet.

Joba landed the lead antagonist role on an upcoming episode of SVU. He'll be playing a pedophile with horrible facial hair. To prepare he followed himself around for a month.

Joba takes all his rape victims to Tropicana Field to do the deed. Why? No witnesses.

Joba Chamberlain is to pitching what Joba Chamberlain is to not being aroused by children.

ftfy

Joba's bi-curious. He's curious if he can buy your child's ******* for an hour.

Joba Chamberlain had the inside track to host Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, until the producers found out that he wasn't allowed within 500 yards of a fifth grader.

.500 record

I see the butthurt towards the Heat is alive and well.

Because they were barely even aware of Cleveland's existence on this planet. Like I said above, it's the weak teams that Miami has to watch out for. They'll get up for the threats.

Miami doesn't have any real threats on their schedule until they're in San Antonio at the end of the month. If they just stay the course this streak could go into the 30s. It won't though, they'll overlook some mediocre team somewhere and get stunned. I think they lose in Orlando, if not before then. Classic trap game scenario.

AL East Rays Yankees Red Sox Blue Jays Orioles AL Central Tigers Guardians White Sox Royals Twins AL West Angels Athletics Rangers Mariners Astros NL East Nationals Phillies Braves Marlins Mets NL Central Pirates Reds Cardinals Brewers Cubs NL West Giants Dodgers D-Backs Padres Rockies

Yeah, I've been battling the mumps over here.

I wouldn't hold your breath, granted it only takes one stroke of dumb luck to change everything. The Lakers don't have to do much to hold up their end of the deal. They're a double whammy; they're an attractive team for players of all types because they're constant contenders, they've won 10 titles since 1980 and they've been in the finals essentially every other year, and their home city is probably the most desirable one in the country. Not too long after Kobe's finished they'll draft another Kobe or Magic and be right back at it. Success will come to them, unless Jim Buss completely shits the bed. The Celtics on the other hand are basically back in 1993 now. Garnett and Pierce are old. Rondo's talented but he plays up and down to his competition and doesn't make his teammates better, and now that he ripped his ACL his trade value is gone. We don't have any future franchise players on the roster, nor do we have any means of getting one outside of the draft. Boston isn't a destination on the NBA map, it's cold, it's in the shadow of New York, and it still has the racist tag. When Red built the Russell dynasty, he was well ahead of his time in a league filled with boneheads. When that was over he still had Havlicek (franchise caliber player), and was able to draft Cowens to go with him, and got two titles out of that in the 70s. In the late 70s when the Celtics were tubgirling, Red made an enormous gamble by drafting Bird's rights while he was still in college. Once the Bird era was over, the Celtics stalled because the rest of the league had finally caught up. Everyone else was as smart as the Celtics, if not smarter (due to Red taking a back seat), and all the loopholes were closed. We could get back on top by throwing away next season for a strong draft class, but the owners won't have that because odds are they're getting ready to sell the team. It's hard to sell a basement dweller when they haven't had prolonged success since 1990 and don't play in NY, LA, Chicago, Dallas, or Miami. So we'll be riding Pierce and Garnett until they expire, Rondo will 'lead' the team to a bunch of 29 win seasons, and barring a miracle it'll probably be at least a decade before we're relevant again.

Not much to get excited about, but that's just me.

A 35 year old Pierce and a 37 year old Garnett plus scraps won't accomplish a whole lot. Miami has the east on lockdown anyway, the minute the Celtics meet them they're doomed.

No one's saying anything about it because it doesn't matter. The Celtics are old and paper-thin. The Lakers are dysfunctional, old, and paper-thin. Neither team has any shot at accomplishing anything so bantering between the two is stupid.