Youk Of The Nation

Im going to write a thesis paper: "Talksox.com: A Study in the Literary Definitions and Technical Nuances of Ownage"

Wells was injured. Remember his first post-DL start against Oakland? He wasnt ready to go out, his start in Pawtucket showed that. Clement almost always gets violated like a prepubescent altar boy by the Blue Jays...hell be strong in his next start against another team.

Ive seen a lot of BJs like that.

Pluses: We see what this team is capable of in the late innings. About ten feet away from extra innings, if not a win. Loretta, Youk, Snow, AND Pena all coming up big with clutch walks and hits. Cora, Snow and Pena are especially great because it shows the strength in our backup and utility players. I strongly believe that though this was a loss, it was a gritty, fight to the finish loss that proves Boston is going to be THE team this season. Remember, its only the ninth game. Minuses: Clement, though weve seen him struggle against the Jays, and we know his starts are much better overall. EDIT: Not Cora.

....wow. How....anticlimatic.

LoooooRETTA! NICE! Come on ORTIZ!

All I ask is that Loretta throw himself in front of this pitch like a Secret Service agent.

BJ up for the BJs.

Youky Youky Youk Youk Youk!

Aw shucks.

Cora hit by pitch or infield single, Youk and Loretta with RBI singles and a walk off grand slam by Papi. Followed by lunch with leprachauns, a unicorn ride and a basket-weaving class with God.

Cora in to pinch hit.

Wow. Pena walked!

I dont honestly think the Sox will come up with six runs in the ninth.

A Royals fan? I figured those were in the same category as unicorns... Welcome to the site, man! Hope to see you posting a lot real soon.

I like muting the games and making my own commentary...

May 4 -- Jeff Bagwell holds a press conference to announce that he feels healthy enough to return to action, but the event ends abruptly when Astros owner Drayton McClane suddenly appears on stage and chops off Bagwell's right arm with a brutal axe blow to the shoulder. April 6 -- Roger Clemens holds a joint press conference with Brett Favre just to let everyone know that they're still deciding on whether to retire. The suspense becomes too much for everyone to bear, and the nation erupts into mass chaos and anarchy. April 8 -- Angels starter Bartolo Colon is thrown out of a game against the Yankees after umpires find a foreign substance on the ball. Colon later explains that the substance was merely gravy that had stuck to his fingers while he was eating a turkey leg between innings. April 13 -- Straight-talking, tell-it-like-it-is Curt Schilling calls out Curt Schilling for being out of shape again. April 16 -- In a game against the Cardinals, Cincinnati Reds slugger Adam Dunn becomes the first player in major league history to somehow find a way to strike out five times in just four at-bats. April 19 -- Mets third baseman David Wright makes a fairly routine catch of a pop fly hit over his head in a loss to the Braves, but because he plays for a New York team it is called one of the greatest catches in baseball history. April 20 -- Nationals general manager Jim Bowden signs Roger Clemens to a one-year contract, but promptly suspends him when Clemens refuses to play left field. April 21 -- The Phillies re-sign Ugueth Urbina to a 10-year, $150 million contract after Urbina threatens to set general manager Pat Gillick on fire.

August 2 -- In an interview on "60 Minutes," Jason Giambi says he has not read "Game of Shadows" because he "has no interest in that junk," but mostly "because I can't read."

Youk was disappointing tonight, but we got some good signs from Mohr and Pena.

May 30 -- Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez drops a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on his big toe and tells team officials the pain is so great he won't be able to pitch again until September.

May 24 -- In an 11-4 loss to the Rockies, Grady Little's Dodger bullpen starts showing its first signs of fatigue, most likely due to Little's season-long practice of going to the pen by the third inning in hopes of living down his reputation for leaving starters in too long.

I was going to put...um, that eight day holiday near Christmas, but I didnt want to take away from the luster by spelling it wrong.

Seanez strikes out someone again...brace yourselves for the collision of the outer planets.

I call a Manny Grand Slam and a walk off Tek homerun. I also call Iran celebrating Yom Kippur.

May 17 -- Toronto's high-priced free agents are distraught to discover the "big money" contracts they signed in the offseason were for Canadian dollars.