Youk Of The Nation

KevinFC missed a home run by an ass hair.

Second worst...he could have hit into a triple play.

Damn it Manny.

I don't think the Guardians will trade Sabathia within the AL.

Youuuk! 11-2

We've scored seven runs without Ortiz, Ellsbury, Lowell, Pedroia, or Varitek. I do believe this team will be alright.

Lowell to pinch-hit with the bases loaded.

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/06/06/when-the-dugout-looks-kinda-weird/

I tend to talk openly and often about my sex life for some reason. Everyone who knows me in 'real life' pretty much knows as much about it as Ami and I do. Compared to my normal life my conversations on Talksox are tame.

I hope we can at least avoid the shutout.

Acceptable compromise.

I was talking to YesZir, you paranoid old geezer Just joshin' you...50 isn't that old.

No apologies, only retribution. You must throw yourself on your sword. If you have no sword, I suppose smacking yourself several times in the face with a plastic shopping bag filled with Jell-O will suffice.

I'm dead serious. It was one of our marathon-type days. We'd gone at it at least fifteen times by noon and I had kind of a 'balloon-animal-with-slowly-escaping-helium" thing going on. I got them for just such an occasion, or else the day would have been simply ruined.

I've used Viagra. I don't recommend it.

We're experimenting with transwarp.

This is all YesZirs' fault.

I think it's a little early to be using Carters' average as a reason to keep him in the lineup. .667 is impressive in 30 at-bats, not three.

f*** this, I'm going to go take what's coming to me now rather than wait for it to be like 12-0. Good night all.

TO: Goddamn Red Sox FROM: Derek, Concerned Fan RE: Playing the Seattle Mariners Gentlemen, It has come to my attention that the (barely) Major League team known as the Seattle Mariners have the worst record in the major leagues. While intellectually I understand that even the worst team will win 50-60 games every season, I feel that it is not unfair of me to request, as a fan who invests copious amounts of time, money, and interest into your team, that you occasionally attempt to not completely friggin' suck. I have never played a game of professional baseball in my life, however I truly believe that I could throw a baseball from the pitchers' mound to any of the four bases with little to no trouble. I beg you for the sake of decency to please heed my advice and stop giving up runs to a team whose first baseman is batting .200. Additionally, I assume the reason Mike Timlin has not been released into the bullpen, allowed to run in circles for several minutes, and then shot is that no one on the Red Sox staff owns a proper weapon. If this is the case, I offer the use of my own firearm, provided I am allowed to supervise the action. Thank you for your time. Also, please pass on my regards, in the form of sharp rocks delivered at high velocity, to Julio Lugo. When he receives my message, please return a message informing me of the attractiveness level of his wife/girlfriend. Yours, ~Derek~

Casey?

I think Colon has much less of a has-been air about him and much more poetential for a comeback to a continuing career than Wells did. I can see Colon pitching for five or six more seasons comfortably, though never Cy Youngish again.

Now you know how college students who join the Republican party feel.