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Jacoby_Ellsbury

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Everything posted by Jacoby_Ellsbury

  1. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Napoli's beard looks like Sarah Silverman's crotch.
  2. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Apology not accepted, Pricey-pubes. f*** you and your family.
  3. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Anyone else miss the old road uniforms? These gray and navy ones were cool at first but they've run their course.
  4. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Jumbotron giving the crowd instructions again.
  5. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Look at Price's s***** beard. Looks like matted pubes.
  6. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Wow. Bill Hader's career is booming, clearly.
  7. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    No homer for you, chubby cheeks.
  8. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Baseball should contract out of Florida.
  9. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Christ, I had Jose Molina pegged as a heart attack candidate back in 2006, and not only has that not happened, he's still playing baseball.
  10. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    That might have happened, the book only covers through 2007, Torre's last year. Damon was out after 09, I want to say? Still, between us winning in 2007 and coming within a game of the WS in 2008, and Damon signing up to be miserable in the Bronx Zoo, he lost. And it's glorious.
  11. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    He was contemplating retirement throughout 2007. Because of his wishy-washy mentality, his teammates started to tune him out and not take him seriously. For the record The Yankee Years is about Joe Torre, everything expressed in the book is his POV.
  12. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Please, TBS, I beg you to show the jumbotron that's instructing these people to cheer.
  13. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Oh I agree. I just ordered The Yankee Years off amazon, and reading about how miserable Damon was shortly after signing there put a big s***-eating grin on my face.
  14. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I wish they'd show the stadium scoreboard more often. You know these pink hats aren't cheering on their own.
  15. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Free Lifealert.
  16. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    If Ellsbury grew long hair he'd be a dead ringer for Johnny Damon.
  17. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I think Dr. Cox is trying to appear in every current TV series he possibly can.
  18. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Listen to these fairweather pansy asswipes pretending to give a s*** about baseball.
  19. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I could go from flaccid to orgasm in the time it takes Cobb to throw the ball. Don't even think about it, Yazman.
  20. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Eh, sort of. Choppy picture. Watchable I guess.
  21. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Oh s***, it's on already? Gonna turn on the TV and see if I have cable. Drumroll...
  22. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    More like how Jesus stood there and masturbated like a retarded ape in a cage while her husband and his bumblef*** Florida teammates were getting the pitching equivalent of being put through a wood chipper feet first. At which point Jesus's father would bathe in their remains while Jesus continued to masturbate and eventually climbed in to give his father a blowjob in a sea of Ray guts. At which point Zobrist's slut wife would fantasize that she was somehow part of the action. Too harsh?
  23. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    Trolly's long gone. He doesn't care.
  24. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    I think it's been repurposed. That's what we do on talksox.
  25. Jacoby_Ellsbury
    At least the Yankees command respect in some way, outside of A-Wad of course. But these other two anonymous bush league organizations need to fall off the face of the earth. Who celebrates on a field with silly string and has a champagne shower to celebrate their 69th win of the season? I'm embarrassed that we share a division with these goobers.
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