Youk Of The Nation

JD Drizzle in the hizzle my nizzle. For rizzle.

lol Kevin Cash

When every catcher in the Red Sox system spontaneously combusted

Surprising stat of the day: Including today, the Yankees are 2-26 when allowing 5 runs or more.

DeWayne Wise man once say "Put no Chan Ho in your Park"

The Red Sox have announced a new stadium promotion. The first three fans to check in at the gates before every home game are added to the roster as catchers.

Whatever, he's a Yankees fan. It's not as if balls bouncing off of his face is something he's never dealt with before.

Lester is really making the pitcher work.

I refuse to root for a team with a man named Tug Hullet on the starting roster. I dealt with Trot Nixon. I dealt with Pokey Reese. I even dealt with Wily Mo, and god help me, even Coco friggin Crisp. But I draw the line, THE LINE, at 'Tug'.

Garrett Atkins DFA. How the mighty have fallen. Leaving Coors really killed him.

That was a real news article, I just copy/pasted it, I swear.

Why is it that even when you may be correct in regards to something, I still want to punch you repeatedly?

Yeah, because the Dodgers lineup is chock-full of terrible hitters. I mean, it's embarassing for Burnett to be pitching the way he has the last four or five starts, but I don't think it's any worse because it's the Dodgers. It's not like he got pulled in the fourth inning against the Orioles or the Pirates.

The Associated Press BOSTON- The Boston Red Sox today announced that their entire 25-man roster has been placed on the 60-day DL after contracting a rare disease known as osteomicrofibrosis. Osteomicrofibrosis is an affliction which causes each and every bone in the body to dissolve into a pale, gritty, jelly-like substance. The Red Sox management and executives, while concerned, are not conceding the season just yet. As of 10 PM Saturday night, the Red Sox were deep into talks with many different teams about trades. However, it has been difficult, as most General Managers are unwilling to consider trading veteran players or up-and-coming rookies for what are essentially gelatinous blobs. (We are of course excluding any historical trades involving David Wells). Orioles GM Andy MacPhail, after speaking to reporters about his intention to use 'ancient pagan magic' during this season's trading deadline, did indicate that he would consider trading Nick Markakis and Adam Jones to Boston for several diseased and useless piles of flesh. "I think it sounds promising", MacPhail said, before repeatedly hitting himself in the face with a hammer and drooling onto his bib.

The bullpen was fantastic today.

Don't forget the HBP! Didn't Burnett walk nine in his no-hitter?

Tampa Bay has got to be on the verge of setting some sort of dubious record.

Tim Wakefield will have two RBI tonight.

Another solid performance by Nava. The kid just keeps holding his own.

Because they clash terribly with my plaid leggings.

I had forgotten how much I hate Jason Giambi.

wow

This game is like eating a coconut. You (the Red Sox) struggled for hours with a hacksaw (bats) trying to crack the outer shell (Jimenez) then, your comparatively weak little brother (McDonald) comes along and smashes it with a hammer to prove that he's as cool as you, and you get to eat the tasty insides (the Rox pen) and drink the sweet sweet milk (victory)

Jimenez' ERA has 'ballooned' to 1.60

Haha negative mojo worked. Actually, I was seriously being negative, but apparently leaving and coming back mojo is awesome.