Youk Of The Nation

THAT'S what it is! It must be! I haven't made pasta for a game yet!

Yes. I need your home address. I'd hate for the mail-bomb to go to the wrong house.

If you are, then where is the apostrophe and 's' after my name? Also, why isn't 'Nazi' capitalized?

I could, but I'm a Red Sox fan on a Red Sox message board. You're just an obnoxious troll.

1. Some scrub 2. Some ******* 3. Some mediocre dude 4. Some f***er 5. Another ******* 6. The personification of four years of futility 7. Shame and unhappiness 8. Another scrub 9. Agonizing failure as a franchise

It's okay.

I, too, would appreciate a lower level of irrationality. I suppose that's asking a lot, but seriously...win.

Looks like something I might want to take a crack at.

'expected OBP level' 3% of the season is finished.

Of course you don't.

Actually, seeing as that is one of my favorite poems of all time, I think I found that signature that has been eluding me for so long.

Never assume.

I say we start with people who come into Red Sox gamethreads on a Red Sox board to root against the Red Sox.

Are you volunteering?

When will the lineups be posted? I want a lineup so I can post it in-theme.

I try to work in the guys no one cares about. Keep them relevant. Stay tuned for utterly random references to Paul Bako, Ross Gload, and Rob Mackowiak.

If the Yankees didn't exist the Twins would have represented the AL in the World Series about five of the last ten years.

Exactly. Pedro is just so good that even the guy second to him looks like Josh Fogg in comparison.

World Series rings mean almost nothing when discussing greatness. Guess who else has two rings? Craig Counsell. Edgar Renteria Byun-Hung Kim The list goes on.

Like the ancient samurai warriors of his homeland, Daisuke Matsuzaka has been called upon to singlehandedly lead a demoralized and underachieving force into battle. Riding at the forefront of the Red Sox with his sword raised to the sun, Matsuzaka hopes to carve a vicious, bloody path through the enemy hordes, beginning with the Indian's leadoff batter and stopping only when he has torn the living, beating heart out of the last surviving resident of the wretched cesspool of Cleveland with his bare hands and ground it into the pavement beneath his heel. No more shall the Red Sox, so named for the blood of their enemies that runs so deep as to soak through their iron-spiked boots and into their socks, endure losses in the face of a clearly inferior foe. No more shall the citizens of this nation watch helplessly as the army that has sworn to defend it is sent home broken and defeated. NO MORE SHALL WE BE DENIED THE SPECTRE OF VICTORY IN THESE HALLOWED PAGES! As they await with glistening blades and fiery eyes, the Red Sox sharpen their wits as well as their weapons, eagerly anticipating the moment of the kill. And now, as us who have dedicated that portion of our lives not spent at our jobs or with our families go to rest this night, I tell you, with the certainty of one who can see the future as clearly as the past, the Red Sox shall be victorious. The heads of the enemy will adorn the fenceposts of the conquered stadium. The tens of fans present who dare cheer on those who oppose us will be slaughtered, and their blood will paint the outfield walls. To VICTORY, MY FRIENDS. TO VICTORY! And now, in closing, I offer you a sentiment shared by one of some Japanese ancestry who was known to me: "The more blood, the better". http://images.indyposted.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/daisuke_matsuzaka.jpg Behind this glove is a fist so powerful, it can atomize the skull http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/mlb/players/full/28709.png&w=350&h=254 Behind this patchy, 1920's theater makeup-facial hair lies a weak and terrified White Devil

I've got the next gamethread.

JINX

It's up to Papi now. This would be a good time for some 2004-07-type heroics.