I know what you're wondering: How was Don Orsillo not fired for trying to throw something onto the field during Tuesday's game? Aren't fans thrown out when they do something like that? But you see, I'm so stupid that I can't even make a paper airplane work, so I got lucky. Thank God I work for NESN, where they have maximum requirements instead of minimum. Where else can you keep your job because you're too dumb to be able to get fired. You guys aren't done listening to me read from the Media Guide and narrate the telecast quite yet!
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