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Thread: 5 Golden Rules Of The Red Sox

  1. #1
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    1) Thou shall have at least one important player out of the line up at all times.
    2) Thou shall leave as many players stranded as humanly possible.
    3) Thou shall put Alan Embree in a close game so that the opponent may score runs.
    4) Thou shall never be able to close out important games.
    5) Thou shall always lose when able to gain ground in both the division and the wild card.
    Politically Right Since 1986

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  2. #2
    Triple A
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    I think you forgot one....

    6.) Thou shall make thy fans miserable from April through October.

  3. #3
    Jeter Jeter peter eater RedSoxRooter's Avatar
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    1) Thou shall configure your best defensive teams behind your strikeout pitchers, and play your worst defensive team behind your groundball pitchers.

    2) Thou shall never bunt. Ever.

    3) Thou shall not DH your best hitter even when they say they can DH.

    4) Thou shall keep the bullpen quiet even if the starter has thrown 115 pitches through 4 innings.

    5) Thou shall place the same value on a game verses the Yankees as one does on a game against a last place team, even though the Yankee games represent a 2 game swing in the standings.

  4. #4
    Thou shall reward struggling players by playing them daily

    Thou shall allow star players the freedom to govern themselves

    Thou shall NOT play up to expectations (breeds higher expectations)
    "You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?"
    Chris Farley (Tommy Callahan)

  5. #5
    Thou shall not win on the road.

  6. #6
    Thou shall not beat up on teams with far less talent.

    Thou shall not protect a lead
    "You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?"
    Chris Farley (Tommy Callahan)

  7. #7
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    thou shall find the most inept manager available and reward him, with words of praise and lyality and as the team falls further and further out of contention.

    Thou shall let the higher salaried dictate their own playing time.

    thou shall bring up the worst reliver in the farm system and onyl use him in tight games when he can blow a lead.

    Thou shall sign washed up relief pitchers and again only use them in tight games where they can blow a lead.

  8. #8
    This is getting to be a lot more then 5 rules.

  9. #9
    Thou shall allow the Evil Empire to hoard all the talent, and do nothing to stop it.
    Quote Originally Posted by ORS
    I know they will. At some point in your life, you'll grow up and quit pulling stupid shit like this. Then, the world will be a better place. Unfortunately, somebody else will turn 12 and start doing the same thing. It's a vicious cycle.

  10. #10
    Thou shall bow to the evil empire in embarrasing fashion.
    "You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?"
    Chris Farley (Tommy Callahan)

  11. #11
    Triple A
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    Ouch...elsrbueno...that last one stung, but unfortunately, its true.

    You're not a closet Yankee fan are you? Oh wait, you couldn't be...Yankee fans aren't intelligent enough to insult me like that.

  12. #12
    Sorry, head to say it. This year's team is just tearing me apart inside with frustration.
    "You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?"
    Chris Farley (Tommy Callahan)

  13. #13
    Man these are tough but for some reason dis agree with me if you want I think we are going to turn it around.
    "These guys need to make a descision right now, are they gonna be winners? Or are they gonna be like Alex Rodriguez?" -Dickie V during Pitt vs. Uconn

  14. #14
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    Originally posted by Sizzlin22@Jul 22 2004, 08:13 PM
    Man these are tough but for some reason dis agree with me if you want I think we are going to turn it around.
    i AGREE with u. there is no way we can have a little run like we did before the ASB and suddenly stink it up, i think we are in a slump, and trying to get out. we can turn this around easily.

  15. #15
    Originally posted by nomah555+Jul 23 2004, 02:47 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (nomah555 @ Jul 23 2004, 02:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Sizzlin22@Jul 22 2004, 08:13 PM
    Man these are tough but for some reason dis agree with me if you want I think we are going to turn it around.
    i AGREE with u. there is no way we can have a little run like we did before the ASB and suddenly stink it up, i think we are in a slump, and trying to get out. we can turn this around easily. [/b][/quote]
    A long slump but still a slump that is getoutable (hey I made up a word ) it&#39;s not over we can stil win the WC (no chance of getting the Yankees).
    "These guys need to make a descision right now, are they gonna be winners? Or are they gonna be like Alex Rodriguez?" -Dickie V during Pitt vs. Uconn

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